War-Mother and the sin of gluttony

Great story really! Though I have a few major flaws to point out! First is plot development! It's too slow! Like super duper slow. Author created a very big world yet the story development is super slow! It would get boring as time goes by since nothing exciting comes up!  I dont have that much patience to keep reading about irrelevant minor stuffs.Second is MC's personality. It's Childish! I mean if author wants to make it something funnier with this Childish MC then it's not working, Annoying even.Now for the good parts of the story!First is the uniqueness of the story! You can rarely see an NPC with Ice Magic! Or his dungeon is frozen themed! Always fire, undead, darkness, the usual edgy stuff! His main weapon isnt even a sword! Plus points with that! Second Grammar! There's no noticeable flaws in the writing! One of the many flaws that authors have and never even improve on it! But this! For a first novel  you did well! Now! Although you have this good points, the flaws I listed will weigh more on why people stop reading, most people dont have that much of time to be patient.Goodluck!

I can't stop reading! Everything's cool...from the plot to the characters and all.You're doing a great job, author!

"I'm studying to become the manager for you and Lyssa. When I complete my study I will take over for uncle Anthony" Damian said matter of factly.

I need to get myself away from this place

Shr raised the bow in her right hand and drew it lightly across the strings. A long, gentle, and sorrowful sound rang out.

Faustina began to explain.

when I saw her I know I had to have her as a friend. I asked if we can hang out

I'm standing in a dark alleyway the building next to me is my Target the group inside the building are gun Smugglers These are one of many in Gotham this is the biggest one already took my money now I got to make sure they stay down for a while I wait for my opportunity there are two guards outside the door and someone just came on a motorcycle.