I Can’t Be This Protagonist

  • Genre: Adult
  • Author: 冻感超人
  • Translator:
  • Status: Ongoing

  • Rating(4.3 / 5.0)

Yan Shuang is an old veteran of the Transmigration Bureau. Once he finishes one last book, he’ll be able to make a lump-sum withdrawal of the pension he’s accumulated across various books and live a happily retired life.

There’s good news once he enters the book — He’s the protagonist.

Bad news? — He’s the protagonist of an angsty, dog blood novel.

Before him lay five highly toxic relationship plotlines with the same shou but different gongs.

Scum Gong 1: Master-servant contract with physical and mental abuse aplenty

Scum Gong 2: Carving out one of your kidneys for the white moonlight

Scum Gong 3: Brainwashing/reconditioning shame play

Scum Gong 4: You’re nice but unfortunately not clean enough

Scum Gong 5: Save him and I can marry you

Yan Shuang: He’s eager to retire already, hurry up ba

#Drop dead funny, not angsty at all#

 

***

⚠Ongoing content warnings⚠

    DubconMentions of abuse

 

Translator’s note concerning a bit of controversy surrounding this novel

The ending wasn’t what a lot of readers expected so they sent the author so much hate mail that she quit Weibo, a Chinese social media platform. I believe this was a misunderstanding due to the tags used. I will leave a spoiler below and you can choose whether to read it or not.

Also, just to let anyone who reads ahead know: the ending has been revised and you miss a lot of content unless you read from the official raws on JJWXC (link above)

Spoiler from the author’s summary that may hamper your enjoyment
Are you sure you want to know?

There is no CP, the MC chooses none of them in the end.

Did the author do anything wrong? Not really. There is a section for ‘no CP’ novels on the Chinese website, but that means no romance whatsoever. BL novels are allowed to end without a CP, despite it being unusual and (depending on the person) unfulfilling.

However, she did rush the ending back in Dec 2021. I read it and it was all over the place. The author has since gone back and fleshed out the ending, as well as giving us some closure through the extras.


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Original Group

  1. chrysanthemum garden

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Popular Reviews All reviews
  1. Jeinny23
    Jeinny23 rated it
    I can't get enough of this book…. I love this and I keep thanking for update
  1. w3bnovelreader
    w3bnovelreader rated it
    This is a pretty decent magical shop owner novel. The characters aren’t terrible and the setting is your usual cultivation world. My one complaint Is that the grammar can be painful to read in most of the chapters Ive read so far. Hopefully it improves.
  1. Naruto2121
    Naruto2121 rated it
    Honestly, a very good concept and story that gives of house of horror vibes. Slight spelling and grammatical errors and it also feels as if some parts were missing , but still good
  1. Artoriastheabyssen
    good good good good good good good good good good good good good
  1. racoongod555
    racoongod555 rated it
    It's worth following, I'll give it a full score of 100!! Hehe. I've just read this genre for the first time. Mostly, I usually read about reincarnation or transmigration in a Chinese ancient-era but this plot is about a current time. Moreover, the progression of this story is so fast that the lead is just transmigrated, but then he can talk and adapt himself like people in the present time. In addition, I like how the lead secretly uses his power to fix things such as a bag, shoes, and clothes because he's too poor to buy a new one. Thus, we can tell that his Qi is really useful for living in this world.
  1. clownking00
    clownking00 rated it
    The synopsis make this seem like a very intresting concept, so i gave it a read and i could not read chapter 3. I forcefully finished chapter 2. I believe it's the writing style or maybe the huge info dump. Chapter 1 was very intriguing and made me want to find out more but chapter 2 killed the intrigue i held for this book. Cant say more since i could not read more.🤷
  1. Kanyi
    Kanyi rated it
    <p>"Need any advice?"</p>
  1. MaryAyaz
    MaryAyaz rated it
    Before Jack can finish talking someone interrupt him again but this time its Claire " Is a pile of crap right? Papa you're giving as a PILE OF DINOSAUR SHIT ON OUR BIRTHDAY?! "

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