The Shadow of Another World

Writing Quality: It... isn't good. While the basic grammar (the word-by-word grammar) is fine, trying to keep in mind when [MC] or [other characters] are talking is a genuinely tough task, due to the lack of dialogue marks (the "[words of dialogue]"). And often, even reading is hard, due to a severe lack of commas... Because of that, I found myself skimming over the paragraphs. Author, feel free to refer to some comments I left on the chapters. I can give a bit of an extra explaination, if needed.Story Development: Too early to judge. I did like the concept, though.Character Design: It's... I don't know how to feel about it? We're presented to [MC], an everyday man who had his dreams crushed by society's cruel rules... Only for him to react calmly to all of the events taking place in the Library, with the ones that stood out to me being the tentacles, and the bloodline recreation. In the former, [MC] had some panic, but almost forgot about everything right after?? With something similar happening with the bloodline recreation. Both the [MC] and his "best friend" had a similar reaction to that one, with them even being able to joke and flirt casually around *after* having gone through a potentially life-and-death experience. A horribly painful one, at that.I was going to rate this 3/5 because of William and the former Librarian Keeper (Both of which generated some interest for me), but I decided against it. Update Stability: By WN's standards (consistent 7-14 chapters per werk), this is low. You're barely starting, though, so I'd say this is one of the easier things to fix.World Background: Up to chapter 7-8, there's little information. A few names were dropped in the dialogue, but nothing explained in depth yet. Only reason why I'm giving it 3/5 is because the Library itself is interesting.So, yeah. I don't have much else to say here  as I've already said everything in the previous paragraphs... Wait, nevermind, I do.Consider changing some of the tags, as certain things might be seen as deal-breakers for many. (An example possibly being the lack of an LGTB tag. This one is a genuine piece of advice, so you can avoid waking up to a bunch of insults and threats over having a kiss between two best friends.)... That's about it. Have a good day/night, readers/author!

Writing- It is very good, cause the way you expressed it in a documentary style.as for the updates pls Im begging nex chapter pls... nah its good just keep your own pace pls make a discord. story is somewhat good. though you already used history and add something here and there, atleast you should put a bit of of diversity from our own timeline like the part where atleast bonifacio is not dead but atleast imprisoned, or the japanese or germans aiding us discreetly because they are business rivals with the americans

with heavy smell of blood and metal.

Shaya sonrió y sacudió la cabeza. Dio un paso adelante y llevó a Xi Xi a un lado de la piscina. Luego se quitó el traje de batalla y se preparó para ducharse.

" Section 4, Next"

While he was treating the old man, a spiky-haired youth with a dark expression came out from the expensive car. Slamming the car door shut, he walked towards the old and young duo.

So far so good! Can't wait to read even more of this!! I am interested to see where this will go and how the characters will get along. I don't know if I will be able to wait for the updates to come around, it's like being left on a cliff hanger, and no one likes being left on a cliff hanger.

I CANT READ SERIOUSLY BECAUSE SHIT WRITING STYLE AND THE MC IS IDIOT AND FOOL, YOU WANT TO BUILD A KINGDOM BUT HE'S WEAK! A KING MUST BE STRONG AND JACK OF ALL TRADES AND MASTER OF NONE AND WHAT THE USE OF SYSTEM? JUST LIKE TO SEE HIS STATUS? TSK AND GAMER MIND? HE PANIC ALL THE TIME WHEN CRISIS ARISES LIKE IN THE TROLL ARC TSK WEAK