- #1
The premise is nice. I have to say it. I'm a fan of kingdom building too, so that helps it more. But the problem is, it suddenly went from 0 to 100. Suddenly a supposed crappy production job turned the poor village to a impenetrable fortress in JUST a few days and made them capable of killing a pack of armored dragons like nothing. He also seems to have near infinite mana which makes everything possible for him. It's my opinion that when writing kingdom building stories, it's very important and much more enjoyable to have the MC go step by step, and to overcome the difficulties one at a time. It should've taken him at least a year to turn that village to what it is right now. I mean, what's the fun? "I got up early in the morning, ate breakfast and built a dozen buildings before lunch..." Create an actual challenge. limit his mana greatly at first, make it hard to control and build complicated things etc. Make him solve the problems of the village one at a time, and slowly at that. That's the joy of kingdom building.The other problem is that the MC is 8 years old and it's going to be a very long time before we even see him being an adult. Actually if he really goes with his current pace, he'll be an emperor before he is 12. And tbh I don't enjoy reading a story about a little kid becoming a king, and worse, enduring marriage and romance talks of said kid. It would be much better if he was older.
