Start with the Ancestal immortal body: I create the supreme clan!

  • Genre: Eastern
  • Author: UnwiseDaoSeeker
  • Translator:
  • Status: Ongoing

  • Rating(3.8 / 5.0)

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  1. MoonlitKisses
    MoonlitKisses rated it
    this is one of my favorite  book ,,i hope you will not drope this one cuase i really love this book ,its amazing book please keep up the good work
  1. novelmeisterHaF
    novelmeisterHaF rated it
    I like your story author.However, since his father's death you are showing how Ren is creating boundaries and "using" his friends, watching everything with indifference.  I understand that after a close person's death people needs time to heal and all. But the idea of not having bonds because they are weakness and using everyone,  always seeing things with indifference is soon going to be the same as literally 99% other fanfics where authors think that is somehow the best option. Without bonds soon the character will feel mechanical and like no emotional intelligence. It also wouldn't create hooks, tension while particularly tricky situations unfold. Forgive me if i seemed like ranting, but a lot of authors make their character cold, indifferent, dark, etc etc. and not always it makes sense. Especially here he felt love with his parents, had friends. Instead of weakness it could be shown as powerful motivation to not loose them and improve more. The other characters could also have significant growth, and together with Ren, could dunno have more impact than just some one man show. Just my opinion that can make the story more engaging and real. Nobody will become Madara level powerful by the time they are in early teens. You said so that realistic growth will be there. Rivalry,  and helping each other grow is sorta more feasible than one dude becoming a mechanical machine and training non stop and using everyone to bis advantage for years until he feels ready to face the world, which can take decade and still me me tally sane. I jst wanted to convey my thoughts, as i wouldn't have bothered writing so much if i hadn't been hooked. The chapters of bonding and the subsequent couple chapter where Toshiro died and the funeral and all, how he said his mother doesn't need to be strong all the time, how his mother and father met, all these were really nice, i actually felt the emotions. In anycase, good luck with your story.
  1. NefariousDragon
    NefariousDragon rated it
    Nice read, it has the potential to become a good novel
  1. FictionalJackeS8
    FictionalJackeS8 rated it
    Empezando la historia por el evento. Veremos si mejora.
  1. ArkzerohiM
    ArkzerohiM rated it
    Akupun masuk kedalam rumah dan merebahkan badanku di kasurku yang empuk ini dan tidak terasa kegelapan merayapiku.
  1. DarjaRenenBBz
    DarjaRenenBBz rated it
    All that glitters is gold
  1. Megabyte3yC
    Megabyte3yC rated it
    And all that glitters is gold
  1. DarkRiku212
    DarkRiku212 rated it
    "I,Mitsuke Hanade will gladdly refuse the Hell princess,You know what I am worry about you because you seem more pity spoiled brat princess weak!!"

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