The Angelic System That Turned My Life Into Hell

(Only a few chapters in)Writing: You can understand what is written, but there are a few grammar mistakes from time to time.Story: As of now, information about the world, power system and the likes are being relayed to us, however there is that particular mystery vibe which I like.Character, World, Updates: Nothing to critize there :)I may sound very negative at the start of the review, but I enjoy your story very much so keep it up!

Mika Elbar's adventure in this magical tale breaks away from typical hero stories. His down-to-earth nature makes him a likable main character, and the mysterious systen adds suspense to the plot. The famous magic academy, Loogam, adds excitement to Mika's journey. The fact that he lacks typical magical abilities or legendary relics makes his underdog story more compelling.

Pretty good start to the story. Let's go Aspiring Mangakas community!

I read the beginning and I really like the story so far. I also like the world building and its mystery! looking forward to reading more!

The introduction of the mysterious system and the quest at the end created a lot of intrigue, I am very excited about what will happen next!

Bros a slave to the system

Alright first review from a lvl 15!

overall the book is very enjoyable. The author knows how to hook the reader into wanting more. He knows how to describe a lot of things in details. The plot and world building is actually good. The cliffhangers will end up making us wanna fight the author.


Here will be some spoilers and criticism.
Do not read this if you don’t wanna be spoiled.










Sometimes you mix up the povs of who is fighting. In one of the fight where belain was fighting you switch to Mika name instead of belain.(I probably spelt his name wrong)  
The pacing of the story could use some work. The mc has a little over a year left to live but still struggles against students. He won against Ophelia but lost to  Xander and struggled against the disciplinary committe. Granted he was exhausted and other factors came into play. I still think he should’ve put a way better fight considering he won against Ophelia and the demons and survived against Olivia.
The romance with the teacher caught me off guard. When we things progressive future more into their relationship? Will it be a harem with the other members?

I've read until the first time Ophelia and Mika meet, at the end of the exam.
The system is interesting and some sort of non-isekai getting game'd but for Mika.
I think there's gonna be some subversion which make this interesting, yet I'm not into much this worldsetting. Still, it has some hook.

Gotta say, I'm not into this kind of power-trip "fantasy has to be like an rpg" + HxH tropes, and the writing has problems.
First, grammar.
Revise it.

Second, there's out-of-nothing information dumps or little to no info when things happen, making it kind of dissonant.
I'm a mangaka, so I can't give many writing advice beyond *rythm*, and with a story that begins with a mystery, information should be done little by little, and not give spoilers beforehand. Let the reader see that he will win without the narrator telling them when and how before the action happens.

Otherly, the descriptions of physical appearances are too much vague. We don't have much info about how it does resemble our world.
What is a military uniform in this context? Is it Medieval? Is it Modernist? From were? What kind of robe? What kind of badges?
Or the weapons.
What's the type of sword the MC has? Is it straight? Is it pointy towards the end? Diamond cross section? Is the cross section maybe hexagonal? Has a fuller? Maybe leaf-shaped?

Maybe it's the format of Webnovel that doesn't let authors to put in-between illustrations to give visual information, and it's something that it's seen on the purchased version, which unfortunately, I'm currently unable to have.

Still, remind you that even with all the criticism, it has hook and expected subversions of the tropes, so I'm hopeful this arrives to good ports.

Good luck and good writing, friend!

I have also just read the first few chapters yet but I can see a lot of potential in your story.
I'm not the biggest fantasy fan however I think that many people, who like fantasy, would enjoy this novel as the setting and the plot are very intriguing.

Just like the others already pointed out, there are a few grammar errors but all in all I didn't see it as a big problem. Aside from that, I like your writing style:)

I will continue reading this so keep it up author!