In the beginning, there was nothing. Then, there was a creator that created a great tree. From that tree, the universe was created. But, in the universe was the weak and pathetic humans.
They were given only the ability to think, so the gods had pity on them. A god had given them mana. Another gave them ways to fight back with that mana. The greatest gift was given to only a single human. It was a seed from the tree that created life. And with the power of the seed, the manifestation of mankind's desires began to take hold.
That was how the first ever champion of mankind, a "Sprouted" was born.
~~~~
Our story takes place in modern magical times, where everybody has something called a "Seed". At the age of 16, every child must go to awaken their seed, the event of a lifetime. Nobles protect the civilians from danger of demons and beasts under the law of the first king- "Noblesse Oblige", but it's the dream of our main character to become a sort of a hero!
Our main character, Nova and his friend Rai- ends up "Sprouting", a phenomenon that occurs when their seed is fully saturated with mana, right on the spot of the examination. With Seeds that qualify themselves to attend the same school as the nobles, they're forced to take place in "Noblesse Oblige" as well! From then on, it's up to them to see where their Seeds will take them.
Disclaimer: There ARE some cultural references in this story. Please keep in mind, just in case you get interested or confused.
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Coverart drawn by https://twitter.com/Blumbus_
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another thing is the way speech is handled, having the name after every speech is disjointing. try to build the speech into the sentences. the name after style could then be used for greater effect in confusing fight scenes or when lots of aside characters are talking. Also in general work on the way you express ideas. eg aghh its my alarm is both a unnatural thing to say and disjointing. instead he jolted awake, realizing the dragon roars were in fact his alarm clock.
This only an example, there's many ways to do it but this book has a lot of potential if you go back and rewrite it.