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I read only one chapter only to realize how garbage and unreadable this story is. It starts off seemingly from nowhere, or if it does specify, the grammatical mistakes makes it impossible to understand. There’s no real dialogue separations and sentences are incredibly short which makes it harder to read. I understand if it’s a new writer but cmon, reread and proof read it before you post it. This is hard to read, period. Hopefully you read this comment and learn how you can improve your writing.Sentence/Structure : 0 ; invalid, no structureStory : 0 ; invalid, story is barely readable with only few plot elements present.Grammar : -5 ; the author seems as if he/she didn’t try at all.Presentation : -10 ; the presentation is awful and characters are seemingly randomly thrown in making the already difficult to read story, more difficult to understand. Overall : -3/10This story and writing in general is fucking trash, no I’m not kidding, don’t read this ****. Please, don’t. The author needs to improve on presentation, grammar, structure and plot before he could ever receive any good comments.
Liked the novel. Try to show character traits rather than telling them more. Also maybe you might want to limit the perspectives of other characters so we can figure things out as the protagonist does. Thanks for writing.
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