"Ah huh! Your my Boss!" he smiled. Like what was planned, we went to a nearby coffee shop. I don't want to show off any expression to anyone. All I heard behind my back was "a cold hearted lady." Well, I truly don't care so long that I would be able to finish my mission.
The author clarified that those two were never actually dating it was in a chapter can’t remember which one tho van was hurt sure but really he thought about it in his head on why he actually didn’t care about it when she confessed that she likes Magus his best friend and then she started crying that he was indifferent to it not giving a shit😂 and her running away
Theres a lot of problems with this one. The grammar is okay but sometimes goes over the line like adding more verbs like moved, stepped, swooshed, sped, and all that. The formatting is worse too, like its all over the place. Its like someone wrote it with passion but forgot how to make everything make sense. this one has potential yes, but theres a lot of problems. like, the explanations are pretty half assed and lacks cohesion. making a writer be able to control plot? whats with that? just say thats the mcs golden finger and everything will go his way. you even added that the changes in reality is limited, but what kind of limit? can he use it for a thousand times if its just a small change? like, change memories to make the characters fallfor mc? lots of problema the comedy was good thiugh, the banter between the writer dude and mc.Just edit it. fix the grammar. make a proper reflection on what is happening and make it clearer. the thing about the writer about making any changes to the reality, nerf it, like, make him only be able to use it once a week and only in one person. also, why is the baby able to practice his mucles? it doesnt form yet for day old babies. even with it just being seven chapters the faults are visible.overall a mess, mix of passion, impatience, lack of edits, lack of refining on the details, lack of cohesion, the comedy sometimes lands, sometimes the comedy feels forced. Tone down the other comedy you intent since it mostly doesnt work, keep the playful banter between the main character and the writer though, I liked that one. final verdict: 2 stars.good luck and keep writing!
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