This book is a breath of fresh air for Webnovel I hope it gets the recognition it deserves very soon.π―π―π―π―π―π―π―π―π―π―π―π―π―π―π―π―π―π―π―
The work needs to be proofread. It's readable but there's a lot of run on sentences. Also some thoughts needs to be organised. Simple errors can be avoided and I understand that english is not the first language of the author. This work needs polishing and I hope it can shine brighter in the future.
This really heavily reminds me of an anime which ig the author is going for and its nice to see that. The story is cute and I can see in my mind how it unfolds! The characters are also adorable! There are grammarical mistake and switches between past and present tense, author should settle for one tense. I also think its not really necessary to describe their appearances, we need a bit info about them but going too much into detail is superfluous. I get it tries to go with the anime trope but in a novel or even a light novel, its not really common (correct me tho if im wrong)This would make a good manga tbh! It would be even cooler if it could be a shounen, if you think managing idols and shounen doesnt fit, i highly recommend act age where the mangaka makes striving to become an actress so damn hype.Have you read light novels? I'd suggest looking at them to see how those authors wrote them, although a lot say japanese light novels are trash lolAll in all, its a nice, light-hearted story and I hope the author will continue their hard work!
As the two of them entered, a gullible man approached them. "My man, Cris! I'm so glad you made it here. You got a beautiful lady here. You're the best man" he said to Cris while tapping his arms and smiling generously.
They hugged me tight and comforted me. I felt my tears streaming down again. Why does it have to be me? What did I do wrong for Him to take my family and leaving me alone here?.
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