its a great reading experience_________________--------------_-__-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-__-_-_-_-_-_-_-__-_-_-_-_-_-<<-<-<--_-_-_-__-_-_-_-_-__-_-_-_-_-__-_->:3
I’m here again, hoping that we can have a chance to work together and we are willing to pay you for distributing your work.The conditions should be generous. If you are interested, please contact me via this email:adaren06*@*gmail.com(delete *）, then I should take this opportunity to discuss it with you in details.
I gave my story what i would give others. Might lack a little on development due to being a bit slow at beginning but it doesnt feel that slow. Is people are going to review, I would like constructive ones. Not random letters or words. i want someone to click on this novel and see constructive points of the good and bads not a mis match of bots for ex.
Hello, I am the author.The rhythm of the novel starts a bit slow, but then it picks up and I think it becomes exciting.I have tried to make the characters vivid and believable. I don't like to create a villain who is simply evil and idiotic, nor an MC like that.I focus quite a bit on the characters and their emotions, so there will be several characters who have emotions and thoughts that can be seen in the novel.I think there are many exciting and a bit strange elements (For example, different layers of the system, which can connect with other users, and exotic powers of different people like a necromancer who uses teleportation magic).The world is wide and I try to bring it to life, showing different events in the work, for example descriptions of scenes that happen in other places in the world or universe.
This is a very lighthearted take on what should be a dark story, and not in a bad way. The introductory dialogue gives some idea about the world but could set the stage better. I wonder where you are going with the system. Simply writing that the end goal is for him to become living may be boring. Consider spicing it up (despite being lighthearted.) The grammar is generally quite good. There are a few errors around ellipses, especially in a quotation. You don't need to double ellipses interrupted quotations, nor do you capitalise unless it starts a new sentence or is a proper noun. Please do not use brackets, and this is not an error per see, but you should use appropriate speech tags when someone is exclaiming, don't say: he said, either use an exclamation attribute or do not use speech tags at all. This is just an example. Also, saying dead lived is contradictory; you can't live while dead, lol. You may want to change your wording. Promising start, keep going.
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