The Day the World Stopped

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Overall Great Story. Too Complex for me to talk about it all, but in a dystopian(?) world with unique details, and characters that are lively and easy to get attached to, it is simply hard to not like it.

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Okay so, cards on the table, I haven’t read this story yet. I gave a rating just to comment cause I’m not sure where else I should put this but here goes: Dear Author, darling, honey, sweetheart you need to fix the grammar in your summary. It doesn’t flow well and sounds mighty awkward this can drive people off your story making them less inclined to even give it a go. Don’t get me wrong I think it’s super cool of you to put your stuff out there for others to read this is just a tip for reference. Good luck!

The syntax is awful. The diction is super repetitive. The author can’t decide whether they want to write in third person or first. The logic behind some of the scenes is just so stupid and forced. Author does a good job with being super descriptive and allowing you to imagine the scenes in your mind as you read but it doesn’t rlly work with the other issues constantly breaking your immersion. I was going to read all the free chapters but couldn’t make it past chapter 6. Wouldn’t recommend.

The other one noticed the state of his ally, so he halted his attempt, a loud, painful sound was heard before the troll in front of him fall, it must have been the enemy's sword cutting through the armour like its butter.

Dear diary,

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