It has a lot of potential to develop into a great strory though i believe it lacks a bit of world development but its still to soon to judge. The only complain i have from the story is the loyalty which Blaze showes as it happens a bit too fast without giving us the reader time to understand his emotions and personality .
Pore on it. Whether thou art capable of fulfilling mine wish remains to be seen. Thou must proveth thyself alone in that. – Think about it. Whether you are capable of fulfilling my wish remains to be seen. You alone must prove yourself in that.
"I hope this is a good enough warning," I said while inspecting my gun, giving the princess a sidelong glance "If you can't hold your end of the bargain then don't make it," Then I direct my glance to the fallen knight… he's holding his hand with a murderous look on his eyes, like always but there was something else there now… something I'm really familiar with… fear.
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