I've been itching to leave a comment on MAL ever since I finished binging the manga in 3 days... my first comment after the forum is finally back :')
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I really enjoyed reading this manga. Enjoyed how much it ripped my heart out. How much pain I suffered with the characters. I love the way not only the characters, but the setting, felt alive. Everything felt so down to earth.
Ash was such a painful character to read about, and while I was annoyed with how much he let Eiji stay around, it made sense...that Eiji was his oasis. Someone who knew nothing of how dark the world could be, knew nothing of violence, but had no fear of Ash, and didn't approach Ash for a selfish or ulterior motive. Someone who simply loved and cared about him, wanting nothing in return. A classic, but well written example of opposites attract. I also love the romantic friendship they had, I don't think you could describe it any other way. It was romantic due to the intimacy, but it was definitely not sexual, as (homosexual) sex had been depicted in a negative light throughout the series. It's an interesting contrast.
The ending was expected, tbh. I knew Ash wouldn't make it out of the story alive. There was no way that'd happen. Even though he was a product of his environment and experiences, a victim from such a young age, he had still done a lot of terrible things. But still, that doesn't mean he deserves a horrible nor painful death. I'm happy for him, that he was able to die smiling. It's also fitting that he was always ready to die, but never in a positive state, but when he wasn't ready to die, he was still able to die with a smile. It's ironic, but so perfect. To top it all off, Ash always goes to the library when he wants to be alone, and he died in the library alone, physically. But metaphorically(?), he was with Eiji, as he was touching Eiji's letter in his last moment. And of course, Eiji himself said that his soul will always be with Ash.
Also damn, that last side story (epilogue) hit me harder than Ash's death. As they say, it's those who're left behind that suffers the most. The effect Ash's death had on both Eiji and Sing, that was hard to go through without crying. Sing really idolized Ash. I wonder what Eiji is to Sing, though. I was surprised that he hugged Eiji and said that he wants Eiji to be happy. My first instinct is that Sing likes Eiji similarly to the relationship between Ash and Eiji...but it's hard to say that would be the case, given that Sing, although close to both, wasn't close to them in that way. So I can only conclude that he cares for Eiji as a family. Which would be great, I'm glad they are close with each other. I know in some stories, it's those who know each other's pasts that hurts them the most, because they want to forget the past. But I think being together is healing as well, they can slowly, but surely, get over the past together, but still know that the person lives within someone else. Idk what I'm even saying anymore, LOL. The last chapter really killed me though. Bawling when Eiji put up Ash's picture by the window, and Sing crying as he looks at the photograph.
While it was an emotional ride, with many of the main characters being well written and complex, their psychology, growth, and relationship dynamics, there could definitely had been improvements. I agree that it's a shame that Nadia was sort of "forgotten" for most of the later parts, but I also understand that it's really difficult to incorporate everyone's story as well as to even give them meaningful panel time without dragging an already long and deep narrative.
Which reminds me, I think that the story could've been shorter. The last two arcs were felt slightly, and I only mean slightly, dragged out. Those were the only parts of the story that I felt a bit tiring to read through. Otherwise, I think the story is rather tight for such a long series. A lot of long-running series get off tangent and have multiple stories going on at the same time (not that it's a bad thing!), so it's quite refreshing to see such a straightforward plot.
Btw, my second favorite character in the series goes to Sing! Love the kid.
