Hearts Entwined: The Academy of Serendipity

Pro is a pro. Don't believe me? Just read the novel and come back to this review to like it. You'll believe me then 😌

There are like 20 reviews from two people giving this 5 stars and I have to put my foot down.I’ve read up to chapter 18 and I want to blow my brains out. Wanna know why?It’s not lacking chapters. It’s not the decent grammar or the general narrative style.It’s the overuse of clichés, emphasis of “plans,” and useless characters. Also, the dreadful POV shifts.For clichés, we got MC Mark, a “badass” anti-hero/hero mix. We got a random mother and daughter burden for escort. Then there’s the strong and uncooperative love interest with her friend. Oh, and I almost forgot! There’s the unnamed male employee as the servant. Some bus is in an accident and then zombies come out from it. It’s the apocalypse and somehow, the zombies have hacks that allow them to bypass crowds and kill any good guy with a gun. No police or guards! No phone service, so you can’t call for help!That means everyone is getting slaughtered! MC steps in to lead everyone to safety! Oh no! Someone needs help, so he goes to save them with his badass one-handed shotgunning skills! He got it from a zombie guard that happened to attack him!But he can’t just save them without showing how all other guys are trash! A mom gets grabbed by dying man! How she is still alive when running from zombies with her daughter? Who cares! Love interest shows she can fight, but MC saves her because he must be better!Oh? A rich fatty goes crazy and holds everyone hostage in his base? He locks out MC and kills someone with a gun? Guess it’s detour time for MC to go save them because they’re helpless without him! No need to try and reason with the fatty.Don’t worry! It’s all according to “plan!” MC loots a place and makes the path secure. Oh, a detour to the detour? Oh, it’s time to save a new love interest? Oh, we have to get the hero a heroic entrance instead of assassinating the gangsters. We’ll have the MC talk to the Boss as he r*pes the girl because this is the “plan!”What!? The Boss has a gun? No worries! MC knew and wanted to make sure by talking to the gangsters! He just wanted to get a better shot. What? He only shot off the Boss’s arm and kicked a gangster’s balls? What “plan” is this?How will he survive now? Oh? It was instant KO? As expected of MC, the other gangsters run away since they luckily don’t have guns. Now the MC is the hero. Let’s have TWO chapters of FLASHBACKS to show this pampered and beautiful love interest having a hard time with her family, friends, and fiancé.Don’t worry! Literally disarming the Boss was part of the plan! He’s bleeding out, but don’t worry! MC must have a moment with his love interest! Oh, the Boss died? Time for a new “plan!” The fleeing gangsters attracted the zombies away? As expected of the “plan!” They never could have lured them back! Even if they did, MC had “plans” for it!Ignore that his people had to kill zombies attracted by his gunshot! Hey, that mom can come over here and clean up the love interest. That gangster Boss r*ped her all over just by himself! She’s coated in his slimy seed!Great! We’re ready to move on! Ignore how the daughter keeps up. Man-servant has been carrying the injured mother the whole time! Do you understand how tedious and discomforting that is? It’s a droll format. It relies on cliché encounters to build up a harem team because the author doesn’t want to have MC alone. We go back and forth between characters only so the MC is no longer the focus of the story. It’s fractured but whole, like a fractured butt hole. Incomplete, but complete; empty, but full.

Only shooting stars break the moldSomebody once told me the world is gonna roll me

Iris felt David hug her, his arms stretched around her whole body. Iris struggled, but his grip on her was really hard.

I'm going to rewrite the story because I made some major changes mistakely from my concept sorry :)

As I walked through the lunch room doors, this feeling was destroyed, when a memory came rushing back.

When you found someone helpless, give your helping hand to him.

Please read!