BOUND BY FATE: Loved by the alpha

This has been the first time a manga has ever given me such intense emotions in my entire life, and I'm completely serious when I say this (even though it might sound like the most cliché thing ever). It felt like I was on a roller coaster.

There were moments when I felt anger and pain towards the characters, followed by joy and happiness, but there was always a sense of sympathy and bittersweetness. On other days, it would be purely pleasurable, then suddenly filled with anguish. Let me tell you, I've never fallen more in love with characters than I have with these two—this includes all the manga I've read, whether it's shoujo, horror psychological, or even shounen.

Maya and Nemugasa have truly grown on me and taken hold of my heart. I love them with everything I have. I can't even count how many times I've re-read this manga, whether starting from the beginning or jumping into a specific chapter, it never failed to evoke the same feelings in me as when I read it for the first time.

I also commend Yonezou Nekota for creating such an incredible story. It's remarkable how effectively the author conveys emotions. There are times when you feel like punching Maya and hugging Nemugasa, but there are also times when you empathize with Maya, understanding his actions or feeling for him as he realizes his mistakes. The author vividly reflects these emotions through the characters' facial expressions. The way Nekota draws the characters has such a profound effect on me—it's indescribable. Nemugasa's expressions of love and lust when Maya is with him just warm my heart.

Let me tell you, this manga will take you on a roller coaster, but you won't regret it. It's filled with passion, humor, lust, romance, heartbreak, and so much more. Please read it. There's so much more to it than just the sex. While that's present, it's the ups and downs of Maya and Nemugasa's relationship journey that keep you hooked.

[Sorry for any spelling errors or grammar issues; I was quite excited while typing this out. I guess I just really want more people to read it so we can all discuss it :) ]

I think a lot of people were confused by the first volume because it consists of several different storylines. But stick with it, and let Maya and Nemu grow on you.  

I'm currently re-reading it for the third time all the way through. There were some points that I missed, some points lost in translation, and I had to re-read. But I love how Nekota Sensei lets both Maya and Nemu develop. I do agree with someone earlier about why Ruka was introduced towards the end. However, if you keep going, you'll see how the two main characters grow with that introduction. I also agree that they showed Shinkawa and Maya's interaction as if it was leading to more, and it hasn't been revealed yet, which is kind of annoying because there's obviously more to it, but it hasn't been explored. The storyline has cute and funny moments, and there are moments that break your heart or squeeze your heart so tight that you feel for the characters. That's what makes a good story, right?  

The Shinaide x Elektel crossover was cute, and again, it implied that something happened with Fumi, and I hope that Sensei will add a side story soon. I'd love to see how Maya and Fumi's past would be like.  

Sex, yes, there's tons of it, but as the characters grow, that part grows too. They become more honest with themselves and know what they want from their partners. It's hot, that's all I'm going to say.  

The artwork is very beautiful, especially for Maya and Akira. I love the other characters too, but even more so in the colored art, for sure!

So, before I begin this review, let me clarify one thing: I enjoy non-consensual themes. I appreciate stories with suffering and rape, and I have an interest in various taboo subjects, including incest and necrophilia. The non-consensual scene at the beginning didn't deter me—it's actually what drew me in. What really makes me dislike most of the manga are the characters Maya and Nemu.

I wouldn't say that I "hate" this manga; I just—really despise the main characters so much. (But I can't help but like them too...?)

It was incredibly challenging to reread the entire series, knowing just how stupid and melodramatic Maya and Nemu are. If I had to compare their relationship to something, it would be messy spaghetti flowing endlessly onto the floor.

Let's start with Maya:

What an absolute jerk. In the first three volumes, I absolutely hated Maya upon my initial read (and even on the second). Wow, what in the world is going on in his head?

Imagine this:

You're in love with a nerdy student who doesn't pay much attention to you. One day, you catch them cheating on a test and use that information to blackmail them into a relationship. I repeat: blackmail them.

Throughout that "relationship," you force them to have sex with you almost daily. They start warming up to you due to some form of Stockholm syndrome (I guess? God, Nemu is a mess too) and begin to see you as a friend.

However, exams are coming up, and they really need to focus on studying so they don't fail this crucial test, which could lead to them repeating the year or make it difficult to get into a good college.

Now tell me, dear reader, how would you react to this as a fellow student and their lover:

A. Understand what your lover is going through and back off a bit or genuinely help them study (instead of it turning into sex again) and making your lover aware that you care about them as a person and not as an object for your affection.

B. Get a little annoyed but still realize that this test is important to your lover and afterward apologize to them, making it clear that you truly do love them.

Or C. Rape them on the day of a mock exam and intentionally make them late because you're a possessive jerk who's surprised they're mad at you since you're a manchild who can't understand that your lover isn't a toy but a person with their own interests and ideals.

...Yeah.

He gets...better? And even apologizes for how terrible their relationship started. But the spaghetti doesn't stop spilling out of his pockets, and his possessiveness remains a problem later on.

Now let's move on to Nemu. Nemu is so dramatic and irrational that you just want to rip your hair out because nothing he does makes sense.

He:
- Forgives Nemu for raping him without needing an apology.
- Constantly enables Maya's possessiveness and overly jealous actions, despite them often putting their now somewhat healthy relationship at risk.
- Immediately throws in the towel and apologizes to Maya even when it's clearly not his fault and he was right to be angry.
- In general, just doesn't seem to have a single drop of self-worth for the majority of the manga. He constantly relies on Maya and feeds from his hand while simultaneously having emotional breakdowns over the smallest things because he knows what Maya is like.

He acts rather toxic at times too, but it seems justified because Maya was toxic before or acts twice as awful afterward.

Toxicity breeds more toxicity, and by volume 9, I was just so exhausted and wanted them to break up. Yes, even after that heartfelt reunion scene. I felt absolutely nothing during that scene.

So yeah,

I hope you can understand why I hate the characters.

However, at the same time, I want these boys to just be happy already, to finally see a therapist or go to couples counseling instead of bottling up their emotions over and over again. Jesus, for Christ's sake, just have a conversation with each other—so much unnecessary drama could've been avoided.

The art is really good and only gets better over the volumes. Eventually, the two idiots do show a sense of character growth and maturity (until they revert back). The Yasashiku half is a joy to read. Ruka is really interesting and my favorite character. (Says a lot about me, huh?)

It's a real love-hate relationship for me when it comes to this manga.

Would I recommend it? Absolutely not.

Because once you get into it, even if you feel the same as me, the drama pulls you back in over and over, even though you know it'll just be rinse and repeat.

This manga was penned by Nekota sensei, one of my favorite mangakas, so I must admit I had a few expectations going in. As Nekota says, if you have high expectations, the disappointment can be much greater.  
Of course, the art is beautiful, and the dialogue is cute and funny, with likable characters. Yet, having come to appreciate sensei's storytelling skills, this manga was a great letdown. I've just finished reading all available volumes, and frankly, I'm so underwhelmed it's almost overwhelming.  

In truth, even giving it a 6 feels too generous. The only reason I decided to rate Hidoku Shinaide a 6 is because there's no denying that sensei is a talented and clever artist.  

I wanted to mention, while I didn't enjoy the manga itself, I've read all the related doujinshi and genuinely enjoyed them. I think it's because I could pretend they were separate stories, and there's no question this mangaka's characters are super cute.  

I've tried to keep this review spoiler-free. However, I do touch on several tropes the mangaka employs, which might give a sense of the storyline.  

Often in reviews, people mention disliking the main couple and preferring the side characters; however, this is the first manga I've ever read where I felt this way. From the start, I completely disliked Maya and Nemugasa. I wish I could say they redeemed themselves as the story unfolded, as characters often do in the yaoi genre, but if anything, these two slowly deteriorated (and I mean slowly—this manga feels like it never ends! I can't believe I'm saying such a thing about one of Nekota sensei's works. I'm upset with her for making me say something so harsh).  

To begin with, our two main characters are introduced with my least favorite yaoi trope—a rape scene. There are yaois that handle this trope well (see Totally Captivated). This manga did not. Instead, sensei chose to use rape as a legitimate starting point for a romantic relationship. This is common in yaoi, but usually, such mangas are short and shallow, and readers aren't expected to get too attached to the characters. However, Hidoku Shinaide is very long and drawn out, so the reader (supposedly) gets rather attached to the protagonists.  

The manga could have at least addressed the event and shown its impact on the boys' relationship. All I got from the story was a sour taste throughout. Readers can't even pretend that Nemugasa was just saying "no" and "stop" to be cute or for some other reason ukes often shout "no" during sex. But Nemugasa clearly doesn't want it when he describes what happens to Akira, and the one time the rape scene is mentioned between the couple, Nemugasa states it's a very bad memory.  

In addition to leaving a sour taste, the sexual assault created a strange inconsistency in Maya's character. He's supposed to be a delinquent or something, but his one major transgression (albeit a ruinous one) is his sexual abuse of Nemugasa, and that lasts about one chapter. The purpose of making Maya rape Nemu completely escapes me. I don't understand what it was supposed to achieve or add to his character. Yes, other characters mention how Maya's personality underwent a transformation, and Maya tells Nemu that Nemu has changed his life; however, this sudden change from a rapist to a kind, respectful person is so abrupt and unexplained, it left me dizzy. Moreover, since the only social interaction we see Maya having before his "transformation" is the sexual assault, the mangaka didn't provide us with an initial personality to transform.  

As for Nemu, he's just a stereotypical uke—clumsy, absent-minded, socially inept, short and thin, bookwormish. And he has no character development whatsoever, unless the Stockholm-syndrome-like feelings he develops for Maya count. Overall, he had no redeemable qualities.  

Every interaction between these two felt rehearsed and clichéd, and the entire time I had the sense that I'd read this manga before.  

All around, a disappointing story (hehe, I know I've used this word quite a few times now, but I think if I repeat it enough, it might help me get over my disappointment).  

As for the other stories, there are several oneshots in the first volume that were pretty cute, and I was happy to escape the Maya/Nemu pairing, but they weren't particularly noteworthy.  

The relationship I truly enjoyed reading about was Akira and Shimikawa's. I love Nekota sensei's tutors—they absolutely rock—and Akira is no exception. Unlike Maya/Nemu, Akira has a mature story, and I think the mangaka could have done so much more with this character. This manga should have been Akira's story, with Maya and Nemugasa as side characters.  

Akira's history with his teacher was an original take on the sensei/student trope, and his relationship with Jutta, his brother, is terrifying. I hope Nekota sensei writes more chapters dealing with this relationship and allows Akira to escape his brother's control. I also liked Shimikawa, as he came across as a mature, calm character. However, I feel like I missed a chapter or two from the 5th volume (can't find them anywhere!). In the last chapter I could find, it appears a new character has been introduced (Ruka san? Who is this guy?), and Shimikawa has forced himself on Nemu (again with this stuff?), so I'm confused and unsure what to think of Shimikawa.  

Overall, while I adore sensei's style (she's quite obsessed with her semes sticking their tongue out during sex—I'm not sure how I feel about that), I'm afraid I cannot recommend this manga. I genuinely feel awful saying this, but I'm just glad to be done with it. However, if you'd like to explore some of Nekota sensei's great work, Otona Keikenchi and its sequels were adorable.  

Speaking of Otona Keikenchi, there was a crossover between Hidoku Shinaide and Mousou Elektel (a sequel of Otona Keikenchi) featured in this manga that also left me confused. I think there's an implied history between Maya and Fumi (Fumi blushes when they meet), but it's never explained. This manga left me with so many questions and so few answers.

One of my all-time favorite yaoi mangas!!  

While the manga does start off with a few problematic elements (not really a spoiler, you'll understand what I mean within the first few pages), it quickly redeems itself!  

I've read every volume, chapter, and doujinshi in this series so far, and I can honestly say there hasn't been a moment where I felt bored or found the storyline repetitive. Sure, there are some common tropes, which are present in most yaoi and shounen-ai mangas, but the mangaka handles them in a way that keeps everything feeling new and engaging.  

The art style took some time to grow on me, but by the end of the first few volumes, I had fully adjusted and started to truly appreciate it.  

Overall, I would HIGHLY recommend this series!!

Updated 06/2020  
There's now 60+ chapters, so it's time for an update to this review!  

At first glance, it starts with the typical yaoi trope: r*pe. In this case, blackmail. Nemugasa is subjected to such severe emotional and physical abuse that it makes me wonder HOW this relationship even began and how on EARTH it escalated to its current state. But as much as I HATE this premise, the character development is incredibly well-crafted and compelling enough to make me overlook the initial issues.  

Now, about the art. When I originally wrote this review (back in 2014?!) I described the art as "hot," but "hot" doesn't come close to capturing its essence. Going back to re-read the early chapters to catch up with the latest releases, I can physically SEE and FEEL the growth and refinement of the artwork, which mirrors the maturation of the two main characters, Maya and Nemugasa.  

I truly appreciate the realistic portrayal of the stress involved in preparing for college exams, striving to get into one's preferred school while managing a relationship. There's a lot of balancing acts—rash decisions, sacrifices, sleepless nights spent studying, having one’s future hinge on a single moment... These are experiences many people can relate to. And just when you think the story concludes after high school graduation, it continues! College brings a whole new set of challenges.  

Initially, I rated this manga a 9, but as the story progressed, the constant drama and misunderstandings in every volume became exhausting, especially during binge-reading sessions. I was tempted to lower my rating to 7, but then there was a pivotal moment later in the manga that made me pause and reflect on the realities of LGBTQ+ experiences in Japan. I wish I could elaborate further, but doing so would risk spoilers.  

Perhaps it's the fact that the characters feel like they're growing, or maybe it's because it's been so long that I've matured myself, but this manga resonates with me more deeply than I anticipated. I hope I've managed to convey how much I enjoy this manga without revealing too many details. Please give this manga a chance, even if the beginning feels off-putting.  

(07/2014)  
I've lost count of how many times I've re-read this manga, and every single time, it leaves me crying AGAIN AND AGAIN! I keep promising myself to write a review, but each time I end up diving back into the manga all over again.  

At first glance, it starts with the familiar yaoi trope: r*pe. In this instance, blackmail (as if we haven't seen that before). But above all, the character development is what truly sets this manga apart from most others in the genre.  

Let me emphasize something: the art in this manga is ABSOLUTELY STUNNING!!! It's detailed yet charming in a way that transitions seamlessly from cute to sexy and from sexy to HOT (and the chibis are utterly adorable!).  

I mentioned character development earlier—it feels (or at least I believe it does) authentic in its exploration of navigating a relationship from both perspectives: being the lover and the beloved, as well as grappling with the pressures of life after high school and into adulthood.  

I've read and re-read this manga countless times, and each time I fall in love all over again.  

Why wouldn't you read it?  
It's funny, adorable, sexy, meaningful, and heartwarming.  
Now GO AND READ IT!

I would like a refund for the chapters I bought. This is not a good book. The story is horrible, the concept of time doesn’t exist and the author has no real life experience to even write a book like this.

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