I won’t lie I was so happy and excited to see you picked the story back up, and I was even more excited to see the previous chapters had been updated as I’d planned to restart from the beginning. But man, your grammar and narration are definitely better now than they were before, but the previous story was far more intriguing. I won’t go too far into detail because my opinions would just sound like I’m shitting on your work which is disrespectful, and I don’t intend to disrespect you. The previous storyline had a lane of its own, you don’t see many stories where the mc is so overpowered because then the plot has to be good enough to counter the boredom the reader might feel at the MC’s dominance. Your previous story had it, I’m not sure if it was how we’d jumped into the action so fast after he’d gotten his powers or what, but that story had me hooked all up until you’d stopped updating, I think you were the first if not one of the first stories I bought privelage chapters for. But this new story you’ve replaced it with, it’s exactly what I’d expect if someone told me the main character was all-powerful and capable of anything. I only read 55 chapters but I honestly got thus far because I held hope you’d realign it with the previous story, or something similar. The main character is so overly arrogant, the previous mc was the perfect level of dominance and no bs arrogance, this one is just cringe and irritating. And the constant repetitive way people will treat him doesn’t help the story, everyone just first looks down on him, gets their ass beat, gets frightened, but suddenly becomes confident or regains the will to attack again simply because their ego is hurt, like huh? Maybe a few characters acting that way is one thing, after all there are all types of people in the word that react in all sorts of ways, but at least 96% of the enemies so far have been that way. It brings the quality down in my opinion, and gives me the feeling akin to when people say “Saying the MC is smart or high IQ just means all the other characters are actually just made dumb to make the MC seem smarter.” Which is so disappointing to me since I read the previous version, and even in this new version there’ll a paragraph or two here and there where I’ll be like “Yeah there you go, thats how you write.” Even the way the enemies will monologue or even speak out loud how shocked they are at their predicament, and why their predicament shouldn’t have developed the way it did, and how they’re gonna solve it. That’s so low quality writing. Those assassins at the orphanage for example, I think the one he fought was Jack. Jack stood there, in an emergency, seriously breaking down his own identity, about how it was meant to be a secret, about who knew it, and why the mc definitely should not know. Like seriously? That should’ve been told in narration, like: “The assassin, or jack, stood there in shock at Patrick’s words. He’d just said his name. You must know, Jack was a top assassin at - guild, his identity was meant to the utmost secret, even - level members wouldn’t be privy to his existence, and yet…” Something like that, or if you wanted to to be said be Jack it should’ve been like: “‘What?!’ Jack stood rooted, unable to believe what he’d just heard. ‘Did…he just actually say my name? No…I must’ve misheard. No one should know that. Especially not someone guarding this backwater orphanage.’” And then you could narrate any information you felt was important to be known. But for Jack himself in that situation to just go over his own credentials and life story, it’s just low-quality. And like I said, if it was just a singke character who did this I’d understand, some people react differently in situations, but damn near every character is behaving this way, monologuing who they are, and why the mc shouldn’t be able to beat them, etc. Just narrate it. And the reason this especially leaves a bad taste in my mouth is because, I know it’s not meant to exactly be a secret or even subtle that the everything revovles around the MC as this is a OP story about him, but it’s like everything and everyone is just dicksucking him, and it’s ironic because everyone is looking down on him initially, yet it feels like dick suck.In conclusion, it just all feels so elementary, especially compared to your previous story, I definitely orefer that one. I know I talked your ear off, and I doubt you might’ve read this far but I hope you know I don’t mean anything negative towards you, I’m personally gonna drop but other than the monologue vs. narration things I said, I won’t urge you to change your story in any way as that isn’t place, I just wanted to let my thoughts be known.
before you read this author's novels- know that he abandons them in the middle. he stopped luck is a charm novel..........................................
I actually love the premise of the story, and the concept you used for Qi is also a unique one; especially when used in gaming :). I would love to continue reading this story and also get inspiration from you while I am writing my own xD. Lob you, author <3
I like it. That is all I have to say. Because I haven't finished it reading, I never knew of the character development since I didnt stay long. But I love the setting.
Sloth, my dude, my man. Do you have to put your MC through all that? We're the chains and the void is not enough. Now he's blood ends with magic and has blood loss? You'll likely kill him before he can do anything.And yes, I did read a few chapters before reviewing.
Popular Reviews