"I'm sorry, Young Master Yun apparently, this letter of recommendation from the original Cleric God, I will set up a visa as soon as possible, as an advisory, it is better than Young master Yun form the Adventure Guild to facilitate the management and life of Young Master Yun in another world"
I spent the night at Kai's house, and I later realized I fell into a deep sleep in Kai's arms that night. I remember that night just before I fell asleep thinking how safe Kai's arms felt. I think I knew even then that I would fall in love with this guy.
Alright to be brutally honest here's what I think Firstly I understand you probably had chatgpt or another AI book writing app to help improve writing clarity in your chapters however you should probably remove the sub topic like stuff u write before a segment in the chapter for example in chapter 5 "kuromoni family training grounds" " observeing the weakness" in my opinion those things cause a bridge in readingSecondly I think the pacing is really off, to go more on that I believe in some parts which should have been spaced more were spaced less and some parts which should be been spaced less were space more which kind of messed up the book spacing— if you are using an Ai writing platform to aid you as i suspected I suggest you try asking them to help you write in segments and not the whole thing at once as it would probably go a long way for book pacing Thirdly some point of views would have been nice like the first chapter the boy Daiko or Daito can't remember him well seemed to bully him far to excessively for no apparent reason making it way to unrealistic considering we don't have a clue why or if he just had personality issues because in my honest opinion I feel like if an actual person was the top of the school or sum like that he probably wouldn't care much about someone like the mc tho he could still bully him it can never, in my opinion be as excessive as getting him expelled and still calling people to beat him From a book I had previously read i think it was time fist they did a good job in explaining why the protagonist was bullied as much as he wasLastly this book is probably a lot more better than i give it credit so whatever i say and rate in this throwaway comment of mine is not a theory but a personal opinion which should not affect any readers view of the book
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