Updated!This isn't a review of me praising my work. This is a sort of disclaimer in case readers don't get suddenly disappointed.1. The MC - Don't try to understand him. Because he has many dynamics to him, it would mislead the readers into thinking that he is 'THAT type of character' when he isn't. His attitude on certain points would also be questioned. Sometimes, he would act out of character. It has been explicitly stated that the story is aware of it. In time, the questions would be answered.2. Plot too weird and random - As a beginner author, there are scene jumps in the beginning but it would disappear some chapters later. There would be some random events but they aren't closely related to the main plot.3. Atmosphere - 80% of the second volume is gloomy, not dark. Don't get the wrong impression from the beginning and the synopsis.4. Pacing - Events happen one after another. But I wouldn't call it fast as if the time is considered, it is slow. The MC doesn't get the time to breathe. This is my response to the well-deserved criticisms. If there are any questions, you can comment. I usually respond to the comments.
The idea behind this story is good and I'm of the opinion that if the author keeps with the story to completion then they will have a fantastic first draft.That said the author tells the readers what's happening rather showing. This doesn't allow the reader to deeply immerse themselves in the story. I think this also contributes to the pacing problems of the story.Over all if you don't mind that this is a fledgling author then I believe this to be a promising story and hope the author will continue writing it.
The story has an interesting concept and decent writing quality, so I would recommend other people to give it a read. Its a good story that I would like to read more of but the updates come whenever the author has time to work on the story. I know that personal life gets in the way of writing, but I had to reread two previous chapters because I forgot what happened before due to the gaps. So be warned, this isn’t one of those stories where there is a 5k - 10k word update every day.
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Her problem solving skills are quite formidable. The only problem is her righteous attitude. If only I can buy her... It will be very profitable for us if we could reel her in. It would make our administration a lot easier if she became our figurehead...]
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