Grammar needs major reviewing including syntax, misplaced words and faulty proofreading (e.g. faulty words such as 'minister' instead of 'monster'). Please fix the grammar since as it is it is not worth going premium. Furthermore, descriptions lack depth and color. Needless repetition of simple words make the writing seem inept or deeply disrespectful to readers. Nonetheless, the story develops at an okay pace. There are no for the genre odd jumps in power and it is possible to feel how the protagonist starts understanding things better and develops his skills. Other relatively organic growth is seen as the MC gets to know more people and thus gets a better grip on both his immediate surroundings and the world. Interactions are often however bland surface level affairs, where little though seems to be given by the MC apart from if they gained something and if they like the other person. Rare is the moment when any reflections about motives are given. Speaking of motives, the MCs motives are a bland affair with little development. It seems like the author decided to do a Pokémon and just point them at a competition and then see what happens. That is fine for a start, but as the story progresses there is need of developing the why and the implications. That is not done. We see no added depth to the MC, nor do we see any growth.This is really too bad since the world the story takes place in seems like a marvel of magic and adventure, filled with interesting organisations with individual interests that still don't act like complete assholes. Additionally, the mix of magic and technology might make for interesting world-building and something to add depth to social structure (for example why are the organisations like they are), and it would be interesting to see a characters growth and exploration of this world.
The story is quite interesting. This is an x-rated story. The description of the incident is very detail and words used are harsh and not suitable for some who cannot handle it. The story line portrays what is happening somewhere in the real world that other cannot see. It's dirty but it's reality. Some people are unfortunate to be in that life.
So yeah, I voted for this novel and have read up to 18 chapters. I had a high expectation, and from what I've read, it's too high, but it's not bad.This internet Cafe thing, I was expecting a literal internet Cafe, like both game, but also the Cafe part. As of now, all we're getting is the same Resident Evil gameplay, it's so repeated and boring.It could really improve, since I'm writing this at night, let me just summarize everything that need to improve/can be different.Characters: Pretty bland, they're either not rich, rich, or kinda rich. There's girls and boys, but the only way to differentiate them is that one is pretty and screams a lot, the other is rich and screams less. The Mc is bland as well, there's nothing to his character at all.World Building: I remember how many people said that this is similar to gourmet of another world and I don't see it. Gourmet of another world had a pretty good and solid world building, this novel (and I mean Gourmet of another world from chapter 1 to chapter 18, comparing it to this novel from chapter 1 to 18) is so boring. All we know is that there's a school. A few shops that aren't very popular. We know the country's name and the capital as well, and yeah... That's all.Story development: Probably the worst that this novel does, it's just new people entering the Cafe, threathing the owner, gets tricked to play, says "if I don't like it, I get a refund
Amazing story, this actually cured my cancer and my dead mother was revived from the grave the moment I opened the page. The luck of the gamer was transported to me, I won the lottery shortly after too frfr
i really loved but it needed more detalils like how did they engineered the brotherds and agave them powers how did they reseted maverick, and if maverick has nany friends and give some more eneral context plus they were too much grammar errors
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