The grammar seems to be a bit off here and there and that makes it difficult to get into the story. Also the main characters thought process seems weird to me, I can't imagine doing any of the things he does if I was in the same situation.
This is something I would read any day.The plot looks promising and the system seems a tad bit unique from the normal ones. Furthermore the quality of the chapter is next level, the author makes almost negligible errors making this a fun to read book.Things i expect in the future:Character DevelopmentConsistent UpdatesConsistent Quality of chapterWish you all the best for the future chapters Author-san
Sometime you pass on something and then found that you pick up a treasure that is what I fell now. If we talk about world building and chreacter is amazing this one have big potential to Challenge in with top on and this I Vow to Heaven with - good luck keep up
Within the first chapter you can tell how much work the author built into the world building. The characters also actually act how they are meant to act which is an issue you see in some other novels. The only issue you could possibly have is that there are some grammar issues but the author gets better with it as it continues. But it really is one of the most world built system novels I have ever read.
A must read book ...its basically action + romance + cuteness + understanding...+everything needed to make a book worth reading....oh n let's not forget our main leads ....damn they are cute toghter...
Good story, the plot is interesting and the characters are well developed. Still, I want to give you a few tips from a fellow author that can imho improve your writing... Try to drop the "he said," and "she said" in every dialogue line it's kind of distracting. Another thing is you should focus less on every mundane thing that Max does - remember you are writing a novel, not a journal. So focus primarily on things important for the plotline. But overall I think it has potential so keep writing!
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