once mine, always mine (bl)

why are there no reviews 🤔 ?well first.

There are quite a few issues with this story. First and foremost is how absolutely slowly it moves. By chapter 20, the story has barely even begun, and it took about 11 chapters to reach what should have essentially been the first. This feels like a result of you going into extreme detail about backstory and world building before even giving the reader a chance to care about your characters. These are things that should have been introduced gradually, and less forcefully, as the story progressed, not all at once at the beginning.You also have a tendency to over explain things a lot. This not only takes up 200+% more words than you need to, it gets very tiring to read.The grammar is okay, but not great. You use "!!!!" and "???" and chatroom-like syntax, and it makes your story come off as if written by an overly excited teenage girl (which may be the case, I don't know).Your dialogue tends to be heavy eye-roll material as you often use it for exposition, making your characters come off as robotic and unrealistic. Backstory should not be forced into dialogue. It kills a story. And you've done that /a lot/ in yours, and right from the start as well.You've got a few interesting ideas and some potential, but the way you write seriously needs an overhaul. Spend a little time reading better written works, see how they do things and try to reach where you are at Ch20 in 2-4 chapters instead.Good luck.

It's surprising that this novel doesn't have much reviews, maybe because the video game genre(not popular) . Anyways this actually a solid novel with interesting story that keeps you wanting for the next chapter. The MC isn't shy of spilling "some" blood to reach his goal and he doesn't have any cheat, other that his decisiveness and wits. The other thing that I love about this story is the fights, they're very very exciting and rather easy to imagine.An important note:( SPOILER):🚫🚫the powers that the players gain in the game can also be used in reality, and this is also one of the main reasons of why I like this novel.

I spent everything coins and tickets on this to get as far as possible to that extent I never and I mean never splurge like that a tiny mis step in translation and a bit more updating speed but understandable considering writing is so not quick and takes time anyhow but definitely recommend to others

For now i think it’s going well, but MC needs to differentiate himself from the rest. If all he’ll do is befriend strong characters he himself seems useless. it should centre him and if he befriends or kill’s the 5 plane children the it’s a bonus, all the 5 plane children happen to just make the story more interesting is what I’m saying. Basically what i‘m saying is i read the story but MC still feels detached, so far his feminine looks seem like the best thing about him when actually his potential is just as great as if not better than the plane children, but i guess maybe I’m judging to much he’s still 13 after all. Anyways I don’t know if Author see’s these comments but I’m definitely looking forward to his character development. ✌🏾✌🏾

Terrible grammar. You need to edit your chapters, Or use a program to fix your grammar mistakes. No real world background. Pheonix empire? Dimension? No world? You said Pheonix Empire is a dimension? Did he destroy the whole Galaxy? Empire? World? The MC has never seen a genius like the one he currently possesses? He comes from a Celestial Empire. Also Is Willow State a villiage? State? City? According to you EVERYONE in Willow State knows him and he is well liked. While being a Mortal. I see that you mentioned that he lived in a City but never said the name of it or anything. You just said he is well liked by everyone in Willow State. Also how did Fenrir know that that was the same guy? If you reincarnate do you keep your old spirit if so how did he get a new one? Also many people don't know the secret of the two boulders but other people also tried it, does it mean they also meet the same spirit " Fenrir "? So just anyone grave robs people even level 7 cultivators lmao. Wang Xue wasn't even a cultivator. Seems like people are suprised over level 7 cultivators. I doubt the genius lover had anything good all they knew was that she had talent. MC breaks his morals and doesn't kill the girl. When did he pay 100 silver? It said that he paid 50 silver? He might be lying though but why would he lie to that girl. Also he let the girl stay in his room so much for a " Loner " " As this happens Wang Xue, who was hailed as the cruelest and bloody person in 3 dimensions. " " Everybody that had lost their lives in that world will not be able to find salvation and go through reincarnation, all of the souls that's present in the dimension when the cataclysm were all shattered whether it be those old monsters or the weak peasants' everyone was the same. " Yet he doesn't kill the girl. " Logic "

link cover please🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏link cover please🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏link cover please🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏link cover please🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏link cover please🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

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