first of all I'm not really into blacksmith novels, your story is okay except for some minor errors and the fact that Pato knows about the system, which is kinda because most system novels only the male leads know about the system. so it's kind of a breath of fresh air. I love it so far keep up the good work.
Speed down the pace of your story a bit, and add more conversational depth between the characters. Otherwise pretty good plot and have a potential to shine. Keep up the good work!
I'll be utterly honest, I was like, a little bored when I started... actually, I thought I was not good.
but going further, stuffs began to happen. and I find myself eager for more.
I particularly like Pato.
there's still room for improvements, but believe it's going to get better as we journey.
Definitely a unique story, the plot is interesting and the way it’s described is pretty simple and easy to understand and doesn’t rushed up. Will keep reading.
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but going further, stuffs began to happen. and I find myself eager for more.
I particularly like Pato.
there's still room for improvements, but believe it's going to get better as we journey.
well done
The story development and character are well balanced. Keep up with your great work.
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