Flow of the story is a bit jittery, with lack of commas and spacings in some spots. Paragraphing can have a little more work done, because reading a block of texts is never fun.
Characters are great, despite the jittery quality of writing you can tell the characters have at least more depth than the skin.
World background? Gradual introduction...?
Eh, but at least it's somewhat believable, despite the fact that having languages from different worlds be so similar is slightly too unlikely. Unless we are dealing with multiverse type of transmigration/reincarnation.
Overall, 4/5 stars. Obviously, English can be improved, but no one is perfect.
Up to chapter 5 honestly it looks like those ancient Chinese cultivation novels and like a bit of the mind that tells them everything like slime isekai and authorwiz.
[Another shameless author found. Initiation of the wave of hate in progress.]
Hello! Everyone I am the author of this novel. It's second try to write this novel. I want to share my imagination and practice my writing and English.
The writing quality is probably low for now but it will be improved with time and effort. I hope you can help me with pinpointing the grammar, spelling and logic errors to make this story better. I am using Grammarly but it's basic version and it only shows the basic errors.
Thank you for your attention! I hope, all of us will gain something from this story. :)
The story has its faults, but there is a noticeable growth for the author, so I expect this to change into a good story at some point. Author does sadly need an editor to help him or her out with the whole process, as there are mistakes and repetitiveness in the chapters.
The story has a promising premise. Down the road, I noticed there were too many abrupt time-skips in a single chapter. While this is inevitable, please consider a time-skip once every other chapter or so if necessary and use the chance to elaborate more about characters.
Settling that aside, as other had pointed out, there are grammatical errors, incorrect uses of punctuation marks and chopped sentences. I'd suggest getting an editor to help you with this issue and you could focus more on fleshing out your main plot.
Hi there~
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for more information, you may visit: https://bit.ly/3tBG7l7 or contact [email protected] for further info.
Hi there~
We are now having a writing contest going on and would like to invite you to take a chance to win the prize! Please take a look at the following information:
$115,500 for the Best Adventure Novels! + Get Your Masterpiece Published!
Hey Writers! Come to check out this adventure novel writing contest! This contest is aiming to dig out more awesome work in the following four genres: Fantasy, Urban, Game, and Sci-fi, but if you haven’t worked on these genres, that’s TOTALLY FINE! You can refer to the given examples and tips to develop a new story. As all new stories can get cash rewards, this might be your chance to begin your writing career and get a chance to make a living by writing! Not to mention that there is a great chance that you might win the big reward and get your masterpiece published in hardcover!
for more information, you may visit: https://bit.ly/2ObQnRy or contact [email protected] for further info.
Are you looking for inspiration? You might want to check out our Prompts Writing contest! Apocalypse, Isekai, LitRPG... Follow the three provided prompts and take the chance to win up to $2,000! Please Google 70daysthemedwritingchallenge to find out more!
This contest is free entry and open to any writer at any country. If you had any query, please feel free to contact [email protected]
Popular Reviews
Characters are great, despite the jittery quality of writing you can tell the characters have at least more depth than the skin.
World background? Gradual introduction...?
Eh, but at least it's somewhat believable, despite the fact that having languages from different worlds be so similar is slightly too unlikely. Unless we are dealing with multiverse type of transmigration/reincarnation.
Overall, 4/5 stars. Obviously, English can be improved, but no one is perfect.
Overall this was a pretty good novel.
#ReviewSwap
#FeedMe
#ILeaveTexasTomorrow
Hello! Everyone I am the author of this novel. It's second try to write this novel. I want to share my imagination and practice my writing and English.
The writing quality is probably low for now but it will be improved with time and effort. I hope you can help me with pinpointing the grammar, spelling and logic errors to make this story better. I am using Grammarly but it's basic version and it only shows the basic errors.
Thank you for your attention! I hope, all of us will gain something from this story. :)
Settling that aside, as other had pointed out, there are grammatical errors, incorrect uses of punctuation marks and chopped sentences. I'd suggest getting an editor to help you with this issue and you could focus more on fleshing out your main plot.
We are now having a writing contest going on and would like to invite you to take a chance to win the prize! Please take a look at the following information:
$115,500 for the Best Adventure Novels! + Get Your Masterpiece Published!
Hey Writers! Come to check out this adventure novel writing contest! This contest is aiming to dig out more awesome work in the following four genres: Fantasy, Urban, Game, and Sci-fi, but if you haven’t worked on these genres, that’s TOTALLY FINE! You can refer to the given examples and tips to develop a new story. As all new stories can get cash rewards, this might be your chance to begin your writing career and get a chance to make a living by writing! Not to mention that there is a great chance that you might win the big reward and get your masterpiece published in hardcover!
for more information, you may visit: https://bit.ly/3tBG7l7 or contact [email protected] for further info.
We are now having a writing contest going on and would like to invite you to take a chance to win the prize! Please take a look at the following information:
$115,500 for the Best Adventure Novels! + Get Your Masterpiece Published!
Hey Writers! Come to check out this adventure novel writing contest! This contest is aiming to dig out more awesome work in the following four genres: Fantasy, Urban, Game, and Sci-fi, but if you haven’t worked on these genres, that’s TOTALLY FINE! You can refer to the given examples and tips to develop a new story. As all new stories can get cash rewards, this might be your chance to begin your writing career and get a chance to make a living by writing! Not to mention that there is a great chance that you might win the big reward and get your masterpiece published in hardcover!
for more information, you may visit: https://bit.ly/2ObQnRy or contact [email protected] for further info.
Are you looking for inspiration? You might want to check out our Prompts Writing contest! Apocalypse, Isekai, LitRPG... Follow the three provided prompts and take the chance to win up to $2,000! Please Google 70daysthemedwritingchallenge to find out more!
This contest is free entry and open to any writer at any country. If you had any query, please feel free to contact [email protected]
Good luck for writing!