INFERNAL GAMBIT

Jasmine looked everywhere around her curiously. She didn't remember how she came to the place she currently standing. The surrounding was not familiar to her at all. She looked behind her and in front of her in order to figure out where she was and what to do next.

Leorion(inner thoughts): Huh? Where am i ? Why do i feel so small? And why is it so bright?

BOOOOMMM!!!

Only shooting stars break the mold

You'll never shine if you don't glow

<p>"Baiklah aku mengerti" jawab Chang min.</p>

They walk above the branch passing many more mutants who seem offended when they pass. He knew they had arrived at their destination by the chilling wind on his cheek and the thick smell of blood, they climb higher on these gnarly trees and observe the monster bellow them.

Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid

-Time to school

In just two chapters the author was able to grasp the readers attention and hold it. So far the novel has offered background information and character development that allows the reader to better understand the characters. Through the discovery of the characters we also learn a lot about the setting and the contents of the world being created. Although the novel relatively new the starting chapters show great potential for what is to come.

I was looking this kind of masterpieceThis novel got, Hardworking MC, Weak - Strong MC, Righteous MC, Regression. Definitely one of those peak Regression stuff, based on the manhwa The design of the character itself great, plot? Slow but steady, story development is great, writing alsoIs great, Character development????? Knight / 10

I am sorry I didn't leave a full star review.But it's only the beginning so this was as high as I could go. I came from your tiktok video. I honestly really liked the idea of The Fallen Empire so I wanted to ask if you would continue that.Also if you could,please give my works a chance. It would be nice to know another writer is reading and you can maybe tell me where I went wrong and stuff.Your biggest hurdle is probably dialogue. Something I also struggle with. Atleast I saw that was the case with the four chapters I have read up until now.It would be better if each and every dialogue was unique to that person,don't always use the same tone,use descriptions to enhance the experience and feeling you can get from dialogue. Don't be afraid to use cliches as long as you don't fully rely on them. Pick a strong characteristic of your novel and run with it until the end.That's all.I am sorry I couldn't give any power stones since I ran out. I will give some tomorrow.