I Love Married Woman

maid: *knock* miss

Clenching my hand until it almost bleed, I turned to look at the window. The flower caught my attention, before I unknowingly say.

"YESSSsss FRIIIIITZZZZZZZZZZZ I COOOMMIIIINNNGGG SUCKKEEEEERRR !!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The premise is great. The whole idea of a boy opposing heaven and stealing from it is also quite fun. The problem lies in its execution. The grammar and flow are all over the place with little to no flow. It makes reading a struggle completely pulling you out of the novel's world and stopping you from getting immersed. Flow is unfortunately a concept in writing that takes time to perfect even for native English speakers so it is just something that the author requires more practise at.

A work in progress, if you have any ideea tell me about