this is just too bloody lazy to be called a novel. it's like shoveling things inside a burrito and hoping it will taste okay. it's like he's trying to write marvel insipired novel and fail in the worst way possible. not worth the effort truly.
Mc when chosing the class claims he's never seen anyone else play the basic class assasin which you can chose on character creation... Player names have to be unique so he can't call himself Alex but Reaper is available (MC starts 4 months after launch) we also meet other newbies with names like Beast or Cain. When you die you lose 5 levels but when you're under level 5 your account gets terminated and you need to buy a new 1000 dollar head set because each device allows for only one account (1k is still a lot mc needs 2 Jobs to buy the initial head set) and those are the egregious flaws in the first 7 chapters...
Greatly imaginative and entertaining. While you greatly succeeds in creating a world in which we see our protagonist go about, I would enjoy seeing more rhythm in your overall writing.Grammar mistakes disrupt the flow of the story on occasion, but these are understandable as it isnβt easy to write in a language which isnβt your first. I myself know this struggle very well and know you are doing your best to improve. The characters themselves seem, overall, rather wooden. In the sense that they show the potential to be interesting personages but, as a reader, I donβt necessarily feel sympathetic to them.I do note some improvement towards later chapters and advise you to simply keep going, as one cannot improve without practice. I wish you a lot of fun continuing your story.
Should you give it a try? only 65% I will recommend it! There are some grammar error, poor word choice and mistakes but I see that author was also aware of this problem and tried to fix it. I know it also quite hard to write in a language that is not your native.It's quite interesting novel and I will follow it for sure
I like how the story is progressing so far but I'll suggest you to proofread the chapters once as there are a few grammatical errors. I've pointed out a few though. Anyway, great job! Keep writing!
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