I don't mean to send hate to the author, just making a constructive criticism, so don't be too violent and radical to comment, please.The author is very inexperienced, it seems to me a version of Cultivation Chat Group, but with magic instead of cultivation, but not so well written. When we read CCG, we are pleased to see the growth of the character, both in power scale and persona. As much as some mcs become forets and gain power, it should not be written as something so easy and explicit, there is no sense of satisfaction reading something like this. Come for free, if I can explain it that way. The dialogues seem very artificial too, just like the plot, it is a continuous dump of situations, the text has no flow, when you read something and feel that the text is fluid it is wonderful, unfortunately it does not happen here. There is no assimilation of the facts, in the matter of falling over and the MC easily and naturally accepting the situations, we do not have the process of adapting and digesting things as in GCC.I'm not going to talk about side portraits, because building the MC itself is problematic, very superficial (and no, adding a drama about it wouldn't make any improvements. The point is, we don't have a well-built character, with the psychological and differentiations, a A very good example would be the construction of Lord of Mysteries messages, this is really a very good one, use for reference).I feel no planning in writing and plot.Always keep in mind the elements of textuality: Coherence, Cohesion, Informativity, Intentionality, Acceptability, Situationality, and Intertextuality.Always review what is written and try to improve. Read a lot, because it helps, not just novels, because the construction of novels is not exemplary so to speak, I say really good book works, it helps a lot. The development of the characters must be done carefully too, try to imagine their characters and other books and novels, I can understand that there is a mind behind certain characters, as if they were a person, in others it is very superficial, sometimes Some authors and novels (many actually) tend to project themselves on the characters, especially the main ones, you are the author, not the characters, know this and create something really believable. Characters will never be the same, differentiate them and work on each other, let them grow during the narrative, mature is necessary, if not, there is a problem.The construction and actions of society and the world must be taken into account, cultural and personal habits, beliefs, religion, customs, prejudices, sexuality and gender, ways of thinking (besides that they change and are shaped by other ietns as well) . There is a lot of work, a lot of improvement to do.The novel was not to my liking and lacked in quality, I am sorry, but this is so that others do not spend time on something that will not be useful, as it was not for me. There was no real criticism when I looked at the comments, so I had to read to find out. More criticism is needed (better than mine and well written reviews by readers in all the nines, so that we can evaluate better than comments on how we liked it, love it, exp, thank you and comments that don't really appeal to us that we are looking for something solid to take as a reference). Very annoying to write this, but I felt I should. I realize my comment was not as well written as it should have been, but I was tired. Sorry if I offended anyone, but I don't feel sorry for the message.
For some reason Daami has caught a Webbed-Salamander, a lizard like creature with webbed feet reaching up to 2m in length, their teeth are jagged and can easily rip apart their prey.
"G-good afternoon, Asura. I-I'm Midoriya I-Izuku. I wasn't a-able to introduce myself the o-other day." Izuku greatly stuttered. He then steps out from hiding behind his mother and waves a hand to drag my attention to her. "A-and this is my Kaa-chan, M-Midoriya Inko." She bows her head a little and greets me with a smile, "Hello there, Asura. It's a pleasure to meet you~"
Mesa smiled and said " it is too late for you to kill me but whatever. Shoot everything you have at me and pray to kill me, because if I'm still standing, You will die "
I walk into an open kitchen,modern and filled with stainless steel appliances, but that isn't what halts me from walking further. it is the two pairs of eyes connected to two tall,handsome men that happen to not be wearing shirts,and happen to be looking right at me...
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