He couldn't move a muscle of his body! He couldn't even blink his eyes. The last thing he felt was an extremely sharp pain rushing through his head after which everything disappeared. His Friends, the table, his cards, light and sound. Ithron had fallen unconscious...
ruby said "that the name you father made up for him cause his parents never got the chance to name wolf and they gone now it was his him and his older sibings taken care of him and sense they were test subjects they didn't get to name him but they call him triple 07" then looking back in the eyes of weiss
"The truth is, Abraham Van Hellsing was a member of the Guardians," they heard another voice. It was the old man who had been with Darien earlier. "Even if he, in opposite to many others, never accepted immortality. He instead handed down the duty to his descendants.
"Alright now this show will continue with my drama show, which tell me about my little life entitled 'The Little Rioy adventure Not Fake stories I Promise. I'm not lied, my mother is the prove'."
Very good Our Big brain Imp is growing, and this is pretty Nice to see its not absolutely braindead and has Actual development Ex: if he takes big dmg he gets resistance stat/ if he hits with anything he gains beginner mastery over that weapon or art and get strenght stat/ By thinking (This is Big Brain time) and so on But gotta say i laugh in the part where he justs be like ''I finally won against my Ultimate nemesis the box (Aka: The stat thingy) cuz hes learning how to remove the notifications XD
The story is there but I think the author is trying to get to major plot points too fast and is missing filler pieces to expalin certain actions or decisions or the absent background info that would make us like a character, some things are just blatantly looked over by characters that should be more aware obvious actions that most people would be wary of, and while I enjoy harems the heroines are just falling for a guy with no actual basis, I get the girlfriend and childhood friend but the pro hero speedster maybe should of started as just a fan that slowly became infatuated not in love after a short stream.On the plus side though the story has great bones and with some more fleshing out could be awesome, the system need more moments where Scott actually studies it and figures out how his ‘super power’ works (can’t tell me he’s just accepting a random power system in a society that is stated to have interdemsional warlords and aliens) I expect him to be more aware of the system that is suddenly predicting crimes and has the word ’harem’ in its name, possible mind control and what not are on the table in superpowered worlds.The heroines have some decent backstory building but Maya’s choices are just all over the place, and Emma is just unexplainable as I refuse to believe a flash level speedsters is going to be unable to clean sweep a whole city in seconds to look for someone as she stated herself to be ‘faster then light’ that level of speed is absurd and overpowered that I find it hard for her to not find Scott in seconds of seeing the stream, she herself stated she knew where his first stream was as it was in her ‘patrol’ area so she must have an idea of major and minor parts of the city or can easyily look up a street sign or building and shop names.The stream it’s self just need more detail, does it blur identify features like a location or features to keep Scott’s secret, does it give out minor missions, what all does it sell and when does Scott buy his stuff, the watch he used comes out of left field or was just too small a part to even notice yet it’s a major tool he uses when he saves Elena. What does the system do and what are its defined rules.Scott himself just seems kind of all over the place, bro is supposedly intelligent yet I have yet see him do anything remotely smart as he just seems to go with the flow and whim of the system and not ask any questions and as a vigilante is doing zero prep work or investigation work into criminals or ‘black mechanica’ an organization that supposedly has alien tech and nuclear capabilities and has been running around heroes for years and you expect me to believe his one foray into them is causing them a lick of trouble, it’s stated they are a global organization, one guy in one city stumbling on a cell isn’t going to do anything but annoy them, and get a small bounty of ’Nightwatch’, they’ve had to have dealt with things like him before just from how many superabled people there are now, plus his back story is just missing, why is his mom import or even where are his parents, is there some family situation we should be aware of.Vincent is just not fleshed out and too stereotyped, I believe him a bad guy but I think he’s also being too obvious with it, more subtle gaslighting and less outright bastard and his character improves dramatically as he pushes a wedge between maya and Scott instead of one asshole phone call.Mostly the story just needs filler to help flesh out the world and characters, little Paragraphs to explain actions or choices that build a character and help the reader understand character motivations.Maybe a side piece chapters for none important characters to help flesh out the sudden hero streams effect on the wider population or maybe a few small time heroes using it to fund their own hero activities, maybe a few people who think like Scott following in his footsteps, maybe Emma doing her own stream disguised as a different vigilante like a dark speedster named Shade.In summary I like the story just wished it was more fleshed out as I keep running into the problem of doubling back and questioning when did this happen, ‘offscreen’ moments that confuse readers and just a lack of scenes that transition the story, I hope the writer continues to write and I’m going to continue reading the story and hope it’s fleshed our more later in the story.
Popular Reviews
Leave a Review