Hard to read. Needs someone to go through and correct grammar. English not the writers first language.
The concept of the story is good, but needs work for the story to flow better.
"Hey, Gwen you're right on time. Here's the surprise I was talking about; meet Professor Harry Fair, an old friend of mine, and we were just talking about you and your curiosity towards history and so he offered to give us a personal tour."
Popular Reviews
The concept of the story is good, but needs work for the story to flow better.