- #1
Holy crap what is that review. XD I can't believe I decided not to read this for so long because of that, that's so off the mark from anything relevant it's incredible. I was convinced for so long before I actually read the book and realized there's something fishy about it. Bro you just reviewed the Care Bears and said "I'm so mad that the care bears didn't solve all their problems with mu*der!"This is NOT an action novel of any kind or even remotely a billion lightyears related. The words "overpowered" and "killing" and "fighting" are so far removed from what this story is about it's not even a joke. The cover is a girl in an apron and the title says "she want's to live in a gingerbread house" what on earth did you expect?This is a *cooking* book, for girls. The protagonist is a princess that bakes magic cookies and makes all the sad angry people of the world smile because her cookies are made with the magic of love. It's features include detailed descriptions of desserts and their ingredients and defeating evil by healing broken hearts... with the magic cookies.There is zero political intrigue, the palace is not filled with scheming backstabbing plots for the throne - nobody's dead, except that one guy that died of sadness because his dad didn't love him enough. This ain't game of thrones. It's a family where everyone has hurt feelings and said hurt feelings can all be solved with copious application of sugar, sprinkles, and friendship! The most heinous plot in the entire book is that someone once said her cake tasted bad on purpose, even though it was actually yummy!I'm not making that up. That's literally a plot point. Like. One of the main ones. They lied about her cake tasting bad. That's the main antagonist.What overpowered spirit, dude. She has no powers! Her "extraordinarily powerful" spirit is a tiny yellow baby chicken that toddles around and goes peep peep! It's the great spirit of feelings! She named her baby bird Phoebe and Phoebe the baby bird lives in button. If her princess dress doesn't have any buttons, Phoebe hangs out in her pocket and acts cute. Her supposed amazing combat abilities from this fantastic spirit king she's contracted... are that she can see people's feelings as fluffy light particles, can express herself with magic sincerity so no one will ever misunderstand her heartfelt feelings, and that anything she bakes with enough sugar is guaranteed to make someone cry from deliciousness.Dude. Her spirit is yellow and fluffy and goes "peep peep". Just wanted to reiterate that. The most frequent interaction between the villainess and her fantastic overpowered amazing spirit beast - she flicks Pheobe with her finger and Pheobe stumbles and falls down adorably.Btw. the guy who killed the original villainess. His spirit king is the god of death. It's a skeleton with a scythe - just straight up the Grim Reaper. And he just got back from a war, where he casually massacred entire armies by looking at them and willing them to all turn into little puffs of bloody dust with his mind. He would even give them a half hour head start to run away out of pity. Idk what you expect a malnourished ten year old girl and Phoebe the baby chicken of Feelings with cooking powers to do against that... but if you find yourself transmigrated into this book, knock yourself out! Rush right towards your death flags, piss of that guy, the guy with the 100% accuracy infinite range ignores all resistances AOE instant death ability! it'll be fun!The original villainess didn't "try" - she threw a fit and acted entitled until the world's protagonists got annoyed enough to squish her like a bug. They kept her alive out of sheer politeness and respect for the fact that mu*der is illegal and usually frowned upon in most societies. They felt bad for her. And Phoebe, the great and powerful chicken! Her sole contribution was that she's friends with the death god so he made it painless when he killed her instantly. One second, there's the villainess, next second, oop, there's some red mist on the ground there...Srsly dude how did you think that fight would go down. What's she gonna do, throw frosting at him? Fling sprinkles in his eyes? Smack him with a plushie? There's just no way. Sorry but the Care Bears Cook vs DEATH HIMSELF is not a matchup the Care Bears ever win. Unless it's by befriending Death and singing kumbaya. Which is exactly what this book is about. She befriends Death. With cake. And a magic bird that makes everyone talk about their feelings and cry. And strawberry tarts.
