- #1
The premise itself has potential but I think the story is just killed by how poor the writing is.First like other people have pointed out this author is not very good at narration, it just doesn't read very smoothly. It just feels very stiff which makes it impossible to immerse yourself in the story.My biggest problem with this book is simply with how s*upid all of the characters are.For example the king decides to kick him out of the castle only to then have a spy follow him around to see if he would be useful... This is just beyond s*upid and not something the leader of a nation would do. To start they wouldn't kick him out since any summoned hero from our world would then become suspicious and less trusting of the kingdom, even if the heros wouldn't care or they make excuses about how MC is elsewhere its still something s*upid to do because it doesn't cost them basically anything to keep him in the castle, at least for a bit. Have someone train him and observe up close to see if they have value, but fine... lets say the royalty are incompetent, we then have the main character who while isn't completely s*upid lacks any critical thinking ability. So as a baseline the way he thinks of his skills is just kind of s*upid, for example lets say alchemy. He is able to make guns with alchemy and during this time he knows that there is at least something ominous following him and despite knowing how loud the gun is he still uses it without thinking at all about how the country would react, and that reaction would probably be to cut off his legs to keep him from using the walking skill and then force him to make guns over and over... and lets not even get into how he created tracking devices and gave them to two girls without informing them that its a tracking device.Another major issue the main character has is that he thinks a tiny bit about how people react to him as an otherworlder but his thinking in this line of thought is just s*upid. So to start you have things like when he first tested his gun it made a loud sound so there was a line about how he has to make an excuse if the villagers heard it but thats just s*upid, just say you don't know what it was... By creating an excuse your linking yourself with it creating more suspicion. Then you have things like how he can sense enemies but doesn't say anything because its "suspicious" but thats just dumb. First there are skills in this world and second you don't even have to be specific... Just say I have a bad feeling which would at least somewhat inform others that it might happen... There are just so many examples I could go on about how all of the main characters thoughts are just shallow... He is suspicious the kingdom might do something, yet doesn't get any kind of skills for resisting poison which should just be something really basic... If he is actually thinking the kingdom is suspicious then he should simply fake his own death, buy supplies for a disguise in town, just something simple like a cloak but keep it somewhat hidden, then leave your equipment, a gold coin of your money and a bit of smaller change, your ID, ect. after coating them in wolves blood and then start walking towards the border non-stop. It has issues, especially since its something thought up in 5 minutes, but its still something that he can be doing rather than his current "I think they might kill me but not much I can do about that for now, lets just get stronger" and he doesn't even do the most basic things like trying to somewhat hide his strength... Why are you taking combat quests displaying how strong you have become when you know someone is watching you, herb quests are fine, delivery quests are fine, just lay-low and build up your walking levels to gain strength while secretly leveling your skills... It would of honestly been better if the author just made him a careless type rather than doing this half-assed careful type... I never get why this trope always has the other summons be dumbasses who go along with it, kings have the intelligence of a fruit fly, and the MC is the only one suspicious and despite that take close to no measures to protect themselves...
