My Cuteness Gets Me In Trouble

Say it with me: \"We listen, and we don’t judge.\"

Okay, so hear me out. I may have made a small mistake. But to be fair, how was I supposed to know that the cherry blossom tree I fell asleep under was home to the cutest squirrel ever to exist? Like, ever. A squirrel that just so happened to be the beloved pet of a powerful demon goddess from another world. I didn’t mean to grab it in my sleep and cuddle it to death. I swear! Its tail was just so fluffy! I think... I can’t be too sure since I was loopy on cough medicine. I had this really bad cold thanks to my idiot brother, who can’t seem to cover his fudging mouth. I’m getting off track, aren’t I? Sorry, sorry.

Anyway, after the demon goddess sensed her pet’s life come to an untimely end, she teleported to its last location and found my sleeping self cuddling the dead thing. Remember, \"We listen, and we don’t judge!\" I can’t be the only sleep-cuddler here!

So, in her rage and pain, the demoness kicked me into another tree—at least, I’m assuming that’s what happened, because when I woke up in agonizing pain, my head was stuck in said tree. As you can imagine, I died soon after. Bled out, the whole shebang.

Long story short, the drop-dead gorgeous (hehe, see what I did there?) demoness—whom I may or may not have developed a major crush on—ended my life. Hey! Don’t judge. She gave me warm chestnuts. Golden chestnuts. That’s clearly love, right?

Wait, where was I? Oh, right. My future wifey turned me into the cutest, most adorable squirrel ever! The upside—besides being able to nap on the demoness’s perfect chest? It’s the fact that, while I’m no longer a human girl, I could eventually evolve back into a human form. All I have to do is level up.

If only people would stop trying to capture me and make me their pet! Back off! I know I\'m cute, but I belong to my Wifey. You can\'t have this cute squirrel!\"