Intoxicated

Lu Ze and his girlfriend, who had been getting along well, broke up. The reason was that she suddenly realized she liked girls. Lu Ze went out to drown his sorrows, and in a moment of impulsiveness, he rented a cold and reliable boyfriend.

The boyfriend is genuinely cold; he doesn’t even share his phone number, and his smile vanishes immediately when there’s no one around. But he’s genuinely reliable, and everyone believes that he’s Lu Ze’s boyfriend, even Lu Ze himself is starting to believe it.

Lu Ze: [I want to post something on my social media. Can you say a few sweet words for me?]

Liang Xiao: [Have you gone to bed, darling?]

Liang Xiao: [It’s going to rain tomorrow, and it’ll get colder. Dress warmly, remember to take an umbrella, and I’ll pick you up after class.]

Liang Xiao: [Goodnight]

Lu Ze: OMG OMG OMG

Lu Ze: [Liang Xiao, where are you?]

Liang Xiao: [Is there something wrong?]

Lu Ze: [I have a stomachache, it hurts.]

Liang Xiao: [Do you want to post on social media?]

Lu Ze: [Post what?]

Liang Xiao: [Oh, just drink some hot water.]

Lu Ze: [?????]

Lu Ze: [post!]

Liang Xiao: [Is it serious? Do you have a hot water bottle there? Have you drunk hot water? Have you taken medicine?]

Liang Xiao: [Never mind, don’t scald yourself. I’ll be right over.]

Half an hour later

Lu Ze: [Where are you???]

Liang Xiao: [?]

Lu Ze: It hurts me so much, but nevermind.