Fate Online: Shadow

It feels very fake and the quality is below average. Sorry, no offence. I read the first few chapters and it was very basic and the articulation was not smooth at all. Even the smallest of details and cause dislike and irritation to the reader. The plot was also not too in depth, it went into the story line so quick that it just doesn't feel right.

Hey guys!

ApocX here! If you didn't start reading this novel, I suggest you start right now. It is definitely something you will enjoy, especially for those VRMMO and Romance novel fans! ;)

Don't mind the shameless 5 Star Rating.

Update Schedule - Daily.

I still have my main novel Stronghold In The Apocalypse to write so I can't write more.

Enjoy reading! :)

P.S If you leave a bad review for the story, then make sure it's something that would help in the improvement of the story, because I sure as hell would delete it.

Wow this author is really shameless, 3 times of deleted review already cause it was getting likes from the readers since they can relate to what I said that it was full of inconsistency and we,with the author, even argued about it but dude just said "go make your own novel and make one thats better than harry potter lmao. So here I am again to make a review to counter your shamelessness of deleting low rating reviews.

** Im gonna make one again if you delete this again so yah

Needs a tonne of work, props to the author and I wish him/her the best of luck.

I must say, the first chapter was imho, freaking terrible. It was all over the place, nonsensical mish mash of all the best stuff someone could think of for a modern day mc slapped together into an abomination called Michael.

I seriously could not bring myself to read another chapter, I dont say this to discourage the author, it's hard to write! I understand that it isn't easy. This book needs some serious editing and the author needs to just sit and relax a bit, your mc never has to be the everything guy! The best things about characters in novels arent their perfections but their imperfections! All their flaws make them come alive and make your readers empathise with them through their journey! The best thing you can do for your audience is to make them always think about the qualities of our creations that resonate with them! Connecting with them makes your story stand out from the rest of the monotonous garbage that litters this app.

You should (If you haven't already but suggesting by the hazardous writing that feels like its come straight from your head to being published) brain storm ideas, the direction you want to go, important antagonists and/or ideas for ones to come! Major turning points in your story that will affect your mc in major ways! These sort of plot points are needed so you can have some sort of direction to love in otherwise it becomes a mess, something that becomes harder to fix the longer you go. Never start the fillings before you've conquered your outline and outlook of where you want your story to go!

You may not read this but I seriously hope this helps if you do kind regards

bit.ly/3LyRF1N

Asking for stones for this is an insult to all authors.You should try to write the plot on a piece of paper then see if what you write next actually fits with what is already there

So I know the author is extremely sensitive in hearing negative reviews, but I have to be honest. As much as the premise does to serve the fans with things they (including myself) would like (such as VRMMO concepts, Romance, Strong powers etc.) It has a very important issue of execution.

From the first chapter, I can quote what others have been saying which boils down to it "being all over the place". It tells us what is going on rather than showing, but in a very loose method. It does not keep a focus and ultimately, becomes uncomfortable to read. Each chapter should have a purpose. The *flow* and *transitioning* of each sentence and paragraph should be strong and easy to follow through.

What I would advise is for the author to look at *how* other authors write their books. Yes, I say "how" becasue I feel that the writing style needs to change. It can get exhausting, especially if a lot of chapters have been completed. Let's say you learned a lot from other books and finally came up with a better style – it'd take a long time to fix all of it. I understand.

However, if that's the case I would get an editor to help you out. There's plenty of authors who would do that in the discord for Webnovel/RoyalRoad. For other works, I'd analyze how Sword Art Online, Rising of the Shield Hero or Library of Heaven's Path wrote their chapters and their style of conveying their messages to their audience.

Plot wise, make sure when writing a scene to imagine how the readers will feel about that scene when comparing it to the *previous chapters*. For example, if the main cast fought and won against a guild of people but then suffers against several weaker hunters later on, there should be a reason *why* they are struggling in the very least, or else it will leave them confused.

Overall, great job with nearly 3 million views and good luck with the rest!

The grammar is so atrocious but I like it so far but the grammar is definitely something that would make me want to drop this completely but other than that I'm enjoying it so far