Evolution System

This review is only grading for Writing Quality, Story Development, and Character Design, for reasons I will elucidate on later.

WRITING QUALITY

The author has taken a serious gamble in writing in third-person present tense and I feel it hasn't paid off. This is a personal thing, but I mention it first because it can seriously impact how easily read the work is; third-person past tense is the standard for fiction for reasons. This isn't the reason for my score here, though.

I was surprised and shocked in the course of going over this work to discover that it apparently has an editor. If I may make a suggestion, perhaps you should have spent less time arguing over using a pronoun and more time actually proofreading the thing, Mighty Editor.

The author's grasp of appropriate punctuation and capitalization is very loose. The confusing convention of bracketing thoughts with periods (yes, I understand Inkstone doesn't allow formatting; there are still other ways to do it) only worsens the presentation when half of the things that should have periods at the end don't.

Apostrophes keep getting thrown in where they don't belong. The author has his own creative ways of spelling certain words (phlegm is now flem apparently, for example). All-in-all it's a crapshow that desecrates the mother tongue.

I rate this even lower than usual because this is apparently with an editor's assistance. Bad.

STORY DEVELOPMENT / CHARACTER DESIGN

I am exempting World Background from this review as it is a work using the real world (the stars given are the average of the work).

The synopsis is useless. One might think the author of the work is solely relying on the popularity of novels with systems that get updated often enough to carry the work, but that would be cynical of me to suggest so I won't.

The author seems to mistake "slang use" for "character". Applied to side characters to denote class/status or used with auxiliaries or a main with more personality than a potato, it's a useful tool. This is not the situation here; the slang is the character here.

The main character is a stupid, ugly, dirty, whiny slob. That's his trait list, more or less. There isn't a whit of charm or even something intriguing to care about. The others characters are this but in stiffer cardboard.

SUMMARY AND AN EXTRA WORD OR TWO

The work is a painful slog through a minefield of bad formatting and creative attempts at reforging the English language anew. The characters could all die in nuclear fire and the world would be better for it. This isn't the same as writing a "love to hate" villain, for the record; they're just that abominable.

Why did I not include Stability of Updates? Because I've decided to not rate that anymore when the prose is abominable like it is here. I no longer wish to encourage authors to churn out factory crap at the expense of using a straightforward spelling and grammar checker (again, amazed that this work supposedly has an editor).

The other thing I have to note: I'm not sure if this work is a genuine effort anyway. Lazy synopsis, lazy cover, short chapters with zero TLC, and the author seems to launch himself from inflammatory position to inflammatory position in a ball of flame to put the Hindenburg to shame.

I'll make no judgment of the various attempts at self-immolation. Instead I'll just note my personal opinion that it's monumentally stupid to insult a major demographic base for the site, which largely draws from an audience in SE Asia.

Whether troll work or genuine, I would not recommend this to anybody for anything except a master class on what not to do. If this is indeed a parody of the "low effort system novel" trend, I do not want to encourage any more of it. If it is genuinely written, I still do not want to encourage any more of it. I just want the pain to stop.

I cannot comprehend why one would leave a one star review because of some community. It is fact that some cultures are better than others if that were not the case we would not have criminalised female genital mutilations. (We still have not done it for male but that is another discussion). I’m going to be honest here, I did this review only to spite people leaving really low quality reviews without any kind of criticism that is actually valid. Make critical analysis of his writing instead of political. Jesus... by the way anecdotal evidence is only good sometimes but not to make a larger point so stop it. Just because you may not have seen any gangsters of one type of community it does not mean that it is not a trend. There is always exception towards one generalisiation but that does not mean that generalisations are inherently bad because most of them have basis in reality.

10/5 story so far i want more vengeance >:D more blood muahahahahahh




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It's a good story and good character development.
And please don't bring religion into this novel, you can just write it without mentioning their religion. So far I like this novel

Its good 凸(>皿<)凸〣( ºΔº )〣ฅ(๑*▽*๑)ฅ!!＜（－︿－）＞(｡•́︿•̀｡)(╥╯﹏╰╥)งo(╥﹏╥)o(๑-﹏-๑)( TДT)(๑´ڡ`๑)♡ლ(´ڡ`ლ)(っ´▽`)っ(ﾉ*>∀<)ﾉ♡(○ﾟεﾟ○)٩(๑´3｀๑)۶( ˘ ³˘)♥(๑•́ ₃ •̀๑)(๑ơ ₃ ơ)♥( • ̀ω•́  )✧٩(๛ ˘ ³˘)۶♥(๑و•̀ω•́)و╭( ･ㅂ･)و ̑̑\\(  ˆoˆ)/\\(ˆoˆ  )/Σ>―(〃°ω°〃)♡→°.*\\( ˆoˆ )/*.°҉٩(*´︶`*)۶҉⁄(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄(((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))(((o(*>ω<*)o)))

Really loved it. Like the whole crime is everywhere setting and how the mc plats sorta of a antihero role and especially love the body modification. it would be cool if the next upgrade had something to do with Zach's defensive and give's him like something like titanskin or dragon/serpent scales that deflect knives and such which he can use to not have to use a poultice every he gets hurt  or gives him away to attack without his tail like claws that he can use so people don't find out he's Demon. Personally I don't mind the writing but some people can be put off not read this fantastic story so fix it if you can if not I'll still keep reading because this is one of the few books on this site that I enjoy reading.

This story have a great development. It is good system story. So give it 5 star. Now for post the review I will write something that doesn't have any thing do with wed novel. ?.........................................12345566788899000988876655432111467901234667888999990009865335790631260122334556789001124501l~~~~~~~~~\\\\\\\\|.

It's a pretty bleh story. The writing isn't so great and although that is understandable for non native speakers, I'd have to say that the lack of character development, plot, and world design especially ruin it.

A recent trend has been sloppily throwing things from popular fiction into a system and making the MC OP. It's easy to do, but the outcome absolutely sucks especially if there is no good contextual world and plot development. And the MC? An okay choice but the flawness of his emotions and personality are serious, making him a flat one dimensional "edgy" ****.

I'm not really going to talk about OPness and realism as novels vary in the flavor, mood and focus. Novels with OP systems usually compensate the lack of rich plot with character development or humor. Author needs to find some aspect that is their own, that they can maximize the appeal of to the readers.

My suggestion would be to go back and produce a coherent plot, flesh out the characters by 500%, and most of all, at least describe the things and "evolutions" with enough depth so that it isn't just "oh hey, I had X tool which conveniently solves this current problem." I think the merit of the novel currently is exploration, specifically with what is the next evolutions? This definitely could be a possible way of improving the novel, and I leave it up to the author to try and improve it in his own way.