31 days of pretend

The story is there but I think the author is trying to get to major plot points too fast and is missing filler pieces to expalin certain actions or decisions or the absent background info that would make us like a character, some things are just blatantly looked over by characters that should be more aware obvious actions that most people would be wary of, and while I enjoy harems the heroines are just falling for a guy with no actual basis, I get the girlfriend and childhood friend but the pro hero speedster maybe should of started as just a fan that slowly became infatuated not in love after a short stream.On the plus side though the story has great bones and with some more fleshing out could be awesome, the system need more moments where Scott actually studies it and figures out how his ‘super power’ works (can’t tell me he’s just accepting a random power system in a society that is stated to have interdemsional warlords and aliens) I expect him to be more aware of the system that is suddenly predicting crimes and has the word ’harem’ in its name, possible mind control and what not are on the table in superpowered worlds.The heroines have some decent backstory building but Maya’s choices are just all over the place, and Emma is just unexplainable as I refuse to believe a flash level speedsters is going to be unable to clean sweep a whole city in seconds to look for someone as she stated herself to be ‘faster then light’ that level of speed is absurd and overpowered that I find it hard for her to not find Scott in seconds of seeing the stream, she herself stated she knew where his first stream was as it was in her ‘patrol’ area so she must have an idea of major and minor parts of the city or can easyily look up a street sign or building and shop names.The stream it’s self just need more detail, does it blur identify features like a location or features to keep Scott’s secret, does it give out minor missions, what all does it sell and when does Scott buy his stuff, the watch he used comes out of left field or was just too small a part to even notice yet it’s a major tool he uses when he saves Elena. What does the system do and what are its defined rules.Scott himself just seems kind of all over the place, bro is supposedly intelligent yet I have yet see him do anything remotely smart as he just seems to go with the flow and whim of the system and not ask any questions and as a vigilante is doing zero prep work or investigation work into criminals or ‘black mechanica’ an organization that supposedly has alien tech and nuclear capabilities and has been running around heroes for years and you expect me to believe his one foray into them is causing them a lick of trouble, it’s stated they are a global organization, one guy in one city stumbling on a cell isn’t going to do anything but annoy them, and get a small bounty of ’Nightwatch’, they’ve had to have dealt with things like him before just from how many superabled people there are now, plus his back story is just missing, why is his mom import or even where are his parents, is there some family situation we should be aware of.Vincent is just not fleshed out and too stereotyped, I believe him a bad guy but I think he’s also being too obvious with it, more subtle gaslighting and less outright bastard and his character improves dramatically as he pushes a wedge between maya and Scott instead of one asshole phone call.Mostly the story just needs filler to help flesh out the world and characters, little Paragraphs to explain actions or choices that build a character and help the reader understand character motivations.Maybe a side piece chapters for none important characters to help flesh out the sudden hero streams effect on the wider population or maybe a few small time heroes using it to fund their own hero activities, maybe a few people who think like Scott following in his footsteps, maybe Emma doing her own stream disguised as a different vigilante like a dark speedster named Shade.In summary I like the story just wished it was more fleshed out as I keep running into the problem of doubling back and questioning when did this happen, ‘offscreen’ moments that confuse readers and just a lack of scenes that transition the story, I hope the writer continues to write and I’m going to continue reading the story and hope it’s fleshed our more later in the story.

This is the author here. ready to give his own work a 5-star ranking. ANd if you do read this review, and read the book as well, please do leave your own review! And I hope you enjoy reading my work!

Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming

So before I knew what was happening they were beating me. I made it Kai's house a little while later but he wasn't there, and neither was his brother. I sat on Kai's front porch steps. It began to rain but I knew I couldn't go home, so I sat there for hours in the rain. At some point in time I fell asleep, and when I woke up I was laying in Kai's arms. Kai was sleeping so peacefully I didn't want to wake him but he looked so cute. I reach my hand out a stroked his hair out of his face. His eyes suddenly popped open and I turn so red because I had been caught. I went to pull me hand back but Kai put his hand over mine and held it on his cheek. I realized then my heart was beating ninety to nothing, and that scared me even worse than the beating I'd just received. Kai looked at my with sadness in his eyes. I knew I was going to do something stupid then.

Old grandpa:" HAHAHAHAHA..... Yes yes u can, you sure have a great appetite child, now tell me which world you want to go to and do you have any preferences on your back story and looks"

The four Aurors couldn't even move before they were knocked out as their unconscious body fell one by one on the ground.

"Yes you," she saw the gang leader speak.