Author here. I am here shamelessly to give my own work with 5* :) and explain a bit about the story.
Our Mc is sealed for an unknown time, but when he woke up and broke the seal, he realized he was in a foreign land. Later, slowly but surely, our Mc will find out how he end up in this foreign land (Earth). He will slowly uncover the mysteries Earth experienced such as the catastrophe 600 years ago and so on. Please be patient with the slow start :)
I hope you enjoy my second work or maybe third? Nevermind, hope you enjoy my story :)
I wanted to try this out, but it’s almost as if the author put a bunch high school-level words into a randomizer and spread them throughout his sentences in order to make his writing seem more chic.
There are commas in the middle of a phrase, comma splices everywhere, run-on sentences, non-sensical sentences, etc... You name it, this author has it. It’s almost as if this novel was written for companies to use for their interview examinations for incoming editors.
Let’s not even go over the chuunibyou plot and naming.
You want to try this novel? Go ahead. But don’t say you weren’t warned.
I only managed to read the first few paragraphs before giving up. The idea shows promise the execution, though, does unfortunately not live up to that promise.
This story needs significant editing and spell-checking.
Maybe that gets better further into the story, but I find the sentence building and grammatical errors to be too off-putting to continue reading.
so the dear trash Author deletet my post how about you delete the spam bots you have you pathatic peace of ****.
So back to my previus revie you have here people that dont even read your novel and give it 5 stars i do the same but i give you 0 well 1 in this cease because i cant give 0 here you go
Well, decent story, I gave this story average of 3.8 * for this story...
Well, I really like the concept and world-building of this story, the story is interesting and the characteristic of the character also strong, but here is the thing that bothers me and makes me less enjoy when reading this story
1. The author really wants the misunderstand troupe of MC is weak from bystander continue, we'll I know it is to drive the plot but continuing it for a long time is annoying. Moreover the build-up each time when people offend the MC isn’t get paid by the conclusion, aka, the conclusion is not really satisfying...
2. I know that the MC is a kind hero before, but how he reacts and doing something is really annoying, like what the purposes of hiding his identity when you literally always blurted out his identity as master... And the stupidity why he hides his strength...
3. Less screentime of MC’s slice of life, I mean I am interested in this story because the title and the synopsis also tag make me want to read about MC slice of life as retired OP HERO... But his slice of life time is so little here, also what got us hooked about this genre, like face slapping etc isn’t included here, just like I said above, the author introduced many xianxia’s cliche arrogant character here, but the conclusion after they offending the MC is not satisfying.
4. Many more thing that makes me uncomfortable when reading this story, but I forgot, I’ll update it when I remember.
My favorite part of this story
1. When MC’s become preschool’s teacher
2. How he interacts with children and coax them
3. Worldbuilding and mystery of how his first world and earth connected
4. Side character building is really good
Suggestion from me:
1. You can’t just think about the plot, also thinking what you want us as readers to feel, take time to think of what you want the reader to feel in each arc, chapter, or even sentence.
2. Although the characters beside MC is interesting, MC is really annoying, so if it doesn’t change the main plot, please make him change his annoying character.
3. When there is character offend the MC, please make satisfying conclusion of it.
4. I have something in my mind but I don’t know how should I say it, lol. I’ll update the review when the time comes...
Popular Reviews
It's really hard to follow with all the grammar errors. This is like using machine translation
...........
Our Mc is sealed for an unknown time, but when he woke up and broke the seal, he realized he was in a foreign land. Later, slowly but surely, our Mc will find out how he end up in this foreign land (Earth). He will slowly uncover the mysteries Earth experienced such as the catastrophe 600 years ago and so on. Please be patient with the slow start :)
I hope you enjoy my second work or maybe third? Nevermind, hope you enjoy my story :)
I wanted to try this out, but it’s almost as if the author put a bunch high school-level words into a randomizer and spread them throughout his sentences in order to make his writing seem more chic.
There are commas in the middle of a phrase, comma splices everywhere, run-on sentences, non-sensical sentences, etc... You name it, this author has it. It’s almost as if this novel was written for companies to use for their interview examinations for incoming editors.
Let’s not even go over the chuunibyou plot and naming.
You want to try this novel? Go ahead. But don’t say you weren’t warned.
This story needs significant editing and spell-checking.
Maybe that gets better further into the story, but I find the sentence building and grammatical errors to be too off-putting to continue reading.
So back to my previus revie you have here people that dont even read your novel and give it 5 stars i do the same but i give you 0 well 1 in this cease because i cant give 0 here you go
Well, I really like the concept and world-building of this story, the story is interesting and the characteristic of the character also strong, but here is the thing that bothers me and makes me less enjoy when reading this story
1. The author really wants the misunderstand troupe of MC is weak from bystander continue, we'll I know it is to drive the plot but continuing it for a long time is annoying. Moreover the build-up each time when people offend the MC isn’t get paid by the conclusion, aka, the conclusion is not really satisfying...
2. I know that the MC is a kind hero before, but how he reacts and doing something is really annoying, like what the purposes of hiding his identity when you literally always blurted out his identity as master... And the stupidity why he hides his strength...
3. Less screentime of MC’s slice of life, I mean I am interested in this story because the title and the synopsis also tag make me want to read about MC slice of life as retired OP HERO... But his slice of life time is so little here, also what got us hooked about this genre, like face slapping etc isn’t included here, just like I said above, the author introduced many xianxia’s cliche arrogant character here, but the conclusion after they offending the MC is not satisfying.
My favorite part of this story
1. When MC’s become preschool’s teacher
2. How he interacts with children and coax them
3. Worldbuilding and mystery of how his first world and earth connected
4. Side character building is really good
Suggestion from me:
1. You can’t just think about the plot, also thinking what you want us as readers to feel, take time to think of what you want the reader to feel in each arc, chapter, or even sentence.
2. Although the characters beside MC is interesting, MC is really annoying, so if it doesn’t change the main plot, please make him change his annoying character.
3. When there is character offend the MC, please make satisfying conclusion of it.
4. I have something in my mind but I don’t know how should I say it, lol. I’ll update the review when the time comes...