When Luis becomes the victim of a freak accident, he learns he has the ability to control and create fire. But his fire is no ordinary fire. Unknowingly the accident brings about the creation of many evils. With the help of his best friend Stephen and others, he learns how to use his newly found powers and defeat the evils that stand in his way.
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I hope it continued to improve over time :]
Apart from that, the plot looks to have some promise. I'll keep an eye on it while keeping it in my back pocket to see if anything changes. It's not, however, my cup of tea.
I recommend it to anyone who is interested in this genre. The story is compelling and shows promise. It may be delivered in a more potent way.
You should write like this it will make it easier to read.
"Hi, are you new here," the girl asks.
"no, I have been working here for over a year now," the boy said.
It should be like this.
This story does have a lot of potential, it is just that the grammar mistakes make it a little hard to read.
Anyway, good job author.