The Edge of Trust

BOOOM!!!

"But you didn't tell me your name"

You are improving as it goes...remember If you need any help I am here...looking forward to next chapter...😉

My story seems messed up and I want to quit it 😟

The doors made a soft swooshing sound as she passed, the large room filled with the kind of shuffling bustle of those only just waking up and eager to get on with their days.

business, nothing to do with him.

I love how you’ve woven secrets and romance together in your story. The tension between the characters is palpable, and each revelation adds depth to the plot. You’ve created a world that feels both familiar and mysterious.

So I read the first few chapters and I shall say that they are well written,lengthy and updates are stable as well. No complaints as the story line seems very interesting as well.

The beginning of the novel is good. Your approach of making the introduction(chapter 0) philosophical is intriguing.As I read further, I found the build up to be good too, even though I thought some things were odd, but that didn't affect the quality and flow. The scenes are interesting and that seems to be your strongest point so far, like, you are very good at writing moments. The problem I had in the middle is how much of it was "filler". A decent bit of it was character information and skill information (system time) that didn't really move things ahead but rather slowed them down and broke my immersion.I can't say much about the character design since there's not much to go off of. Most of the beginning was action and it's in the most recent chapters that you started  showing his initial disposition. I guess we'll see...