Sci-Fi is not really my cup of tea but this is great and interesting. The sotry is very immersive and I could see that you Author did a lot of background research for this. I really like this and I'm going to add this to my library and wait for more chapters!
I always leave five stars on books because as a writer, it's the only thing I could do to support other ones. But for you, it's kind of a well-deserved five stars since your book really shows promise. It's a great read!
I'm not going to lie, your book is really immersive but there are a few things that you could still improve on, albeit minor ones: First, you could improve on your information. Don't rush things such as the evolver levels. You shouldn't have done that in chapter five since it would only look lazy to other readers. I've written books with power ranking before and it's always easy to snippet explanations during the story and work your way from there. like "Wow! You're a universal?! That's the highest rank anyone could get! I'm only a Level 9 evolver so I don't know." or something like that. And then from there, work on explaining the other ranks in the next chapters until the readers get a vague idea on it. When it comes to writing, it's always best to even out your information so your readers will always be engaged, not releasing massive amounts of info on one chapter and then no new information on the next. That way, your readers would consistently ask themselves what's going to happen next and continue reading. It's still a constant improvement for me though hehe.
Second: Grammar, there were parts where you said "didn't me(e)t" or x369('s) whole body (I included the correct forms in brackets). These are only minor mistakes but readers can get particular about it. I know it sucks not having an editor but you could always avail of apps like Grammarly that would help you with your small grammatical errors. These are only minor mistakes though so you only need a little bit of improvement. Honestly, though, your vocabulary is really awesome and I know you'll get far when it comes to writing. (I also like anime, web novel, webtoons, light novels, mangas, dramas, etc etc ehehe so I relate to ya. Cheers!) I'd suggest going through your chapters when you have free time and just edit it. I do it sometimes but I still miss like a lot of minor mistakes. Phew~!
Third: Dialogues. I don't know if it's just your writing style but putting a comma after dialogues is new to me. I've never seen anyone do it and for a good reason. I guess there are etiquettes when it comes to writing dialogues... I'm not sure but it doesn't look professional.
Now don't misunderstand. I like your book, I even added it to my library since it's very promising. I hope you don't find any of my reviews as offensive but as a means to improve your skills. I want to support your book as much as I could since I really like it.
Keep on writing, keep on improving, and keep on moving forward, because that's what authors do. ^ ^ I know you'll make it big someday. Good luck!
Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact
rebecca.review@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample charpters or links will be appriciated when reaching out.
Popular Reviews
I'm first here✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌
Author english is better than most of the stories around here.
Readers should give this awesome story a chance as it has colorful characters and you will feel immerse into it.
I'm not going to lie, your book is really immersive but there are a few things that you could still improve on, albeit minor ones: First, you could improve on your information. Don't rush things such as the evolver levels. You shouldn't have done that in chapter five since it would only look lazy to other readers. I've written books with power ranking before and it's always easy to snippet explanations during the story and work your way from there. like "Wow! You're a universal?! That's the highest rank anyone could get! I'm only a Level 9 evolver so I don't know." or something like that. And then from there, work on explaining the other ranks in the next chapters until the readers get a vague idea on it. When it comes to writing, it's always best to even out your information so your readers will always be engaged, not releasing massive amounts of info on one chapter and then no new information on the next. That way, your readers would consistently ask themselves what's going to happen next and continue reading. It's still a constant improvement for me though hehe.
Second: Grammar, there were parts where you said "didn't me(e)t" or x369('s) whole body (I included the correct forms in brackets). These are only minor mistakes but readers can get particular about it. I know it sucks not having an editor but you could always avail of apps like Grammarly that would help you with your small grammatical errors. These are only minor mistakes though so you only need a little bit of improvement. Honestly, though, your vocabulary is really awesome and I know you'll get far when it comes to writing. (I also like anime, web novel, webtoons, light novels, mangas, dramas, etc etc ehehe so I relate to ya. Cheers!) I'd suggest going through your chapters when you have free time and just edit it. I do it sometimes but I still miss like a lot of minor mistakes. Phew~!
Third: Dialogues. I don't know if it's just your writing style but putting a comma after dialogues is new to me. I've never seen anyone do it and for a good reason. I guess there are etiquettes when it comes to writing dialogues... I'm not sure but it doesn't look professional.
Now don't misunderstand. I like your book, I even added it to my library since it's very promising. I hope you don't find any of my reviews as offensive but as a means to improve your skills. I want to support your book as much as I could since I really like it.
Keep on writing, keep on improving, and keep on moving forward, because that's what authors do. ^ ^ I know you'll make it big someday. Good luck!
Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact
rebecca.review@outlook.com. A brief introduction, some sample charpters or links will be appriciated when reaching out.