Stellar Phantasm (En)

ur way of writing is awesome author

i cant say that its slow start but its progressing really well. you easily get attached with tess. what made me read this is about the forbidden romance tag. lol. anyway. this is 3rd person pov so i like it. cant handle 1st person pov. keep it up.

Honestly, writing is ok. A few grammatical errors but nothing that stops you from reading fluently. The main problem is that his system doesn’t really do system things, the system is not really explored or talked about, the only thing we know is that it fixes his posture when working out or shooting, I wish the system would get an upgrade or something, he has his system and has played five seasons but still loses to the well know centers just for plot, his effort does not match his win rate, five seasons and bro still feels mediocre. I get the whole mature thing with top lives but bro is too zen, talk about his daily life with actual detail, basketball players and fans talk a lot online add a story on that too, show interactions with other players instead of a line just saying "they talked” actually show the talking and write about some actual behind the scenes. Also bro has two kids and a wife, it’s like they don’t do stuff together, they feel like character fillers. I have not seen any more improvements from mc, especially coming from a guy with 2 lives and even has a system, most importantly he has played 5+ seasons and not much to talk about … especially for a guy with a system.

A Verdant ambassador has been appointed to be placed on the continent's side for a five-year term; Princess Aila Wimbledon, to further assist the tribe and establish stronger ties. - Wimbledon, A., March 11th, Verdant year 35"

Why would he make an assexual girl have sex with him? Even if she is a demon that doesn't mean that…

"Fei family arrived."

"U-Um, are" —

"Iris Potter. Siswa kelas empat di Hogwarts, senang bertemu dengan kalian semua, kurasa."Remaja berambut hitam itu berkata sambil berjalan dengan hati-hati."Aku belum pernah bertemu penyihir yang bisa menyulap pedang raksasa sebelumnya."