There's a problem with the writing. The english itself is fine, but the pacing, focus, and rational are all sub-par.Pacing - There are 3 chapters before the official chapter 1 that are glossaries of terms and information about the world, and this is a definite red flag. 1) This is a terrible way to start a story. I don't want to do homework in order to read a novel for leisure. 2) If this is neccessary to understand the story, then you have failed as a writer. You need to show the audience, not tell them. That's the difference between a story and a textbook. 3) Revealing all these details is a part of storytelling. Dumping them all in the beginning simply means you can't use their revelation to further your story. Discovering things with the MC is one of the joys of reading a book, and now you've robbed us of that experience to some extent. 4) By talking about the X levels of your world and how people struggle to climb them, you not only told us the end point of your story, but informed us that we're going to have to read what is basically the same story X times. Another mystery dead and a promise of an endlessly repetitive story.Focus - You need to trim the fat. Details, such as the fact that the MC came in his pants after his first feeding, either need to be cut out or utilized to further the narrative. I believe you were attempting to show how overwhelming of an experience his first feeding was, but you didn't go into enough detail for this fact to be anything other than a distraction. You basically skimmed through the fact that he was exhausted, breezed through his emotional state, and then described in detail the tent in his pants and the stain from his ejaculation. 1 graphic detail amongst a few brief ones sticks out like a sore thumb, and just because it's about a sexual organ doesn't make your novel more "*****."Rational - "Because the information might put you in danger" is not a constructive reason to deny a amnesiac character information about THEMSELVES. That's basically saying "because the author doesn't want the audience to know." You talk about enemies and danger as if covering your eyes will somehow make them go away. All it does is render the MC helpless to avoid these dangers and force him to stumble face first into them due to ignorance.
This one is brilliant, good story, char building great, love it really. The action is really good too. This story really worth your time. I binge read it in 1 day and regretted it cause i'll need to wait for more update. Love ur work author 😍😍😍
The novel start good but after 24 chapters I become bored by this story. I know this is comedy but I don't want to read the same scenario : Mc want to bad thing -> He do good thing -> everyone treats him like a good man Chapter 24. Review."The mc is so stupid why he didn't spare the woman to bring her back to his "evil organization". I feel the mc will be recruting "good" characters but thinking they are evils. I know this is comedy novel but please give me story and just: "Mc does a good thing thinking he's vilain " and everyone think he's a hero.."
Im giving a shameless 4 stars that may be undervaluing the novel however i have not read it i just want to express my hope for this book as i like to binge 100+ ch at a time. Take my power stones and I wish you a good future with this book
Hey there! Good day for writing! If you wanted to see whether you can get paid by distributing the current work or getting financial support by writing new work, you might want to contact leorichard2021*@*outlook.com (please ignore both * when sending email). A brief introduction, some sample chapters or links will be appreciated when reaching out.
hey worldscholar i realy hope you havent droped this book its such a good novel i need to read more of it ...........................................................
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