hello ... l am an Avid reader of your story such as Immortal Domination:White Emperor and a Big fan of your work EVOLUTION:CONQUER and can't wait to see what you have planned for this story Re-life :life as a demon patriarch as well like. How strong he'll make his daughters or will he make or adopt more children for the clan or how he will manipulate the players I Can't wait!!!😀😀😀
The plot so far is going well! There are mysteries, lucky encounter and hardworking-protagonist vibe and other possible developments I hope it remains that way and there is no unnecessary plot drags later. Giving some power stones.
TO AUTHOR: Updated synopsisThis is a complete and total correction to the synopsis. Didn't want you to miss it since I replied in a comment previously.Please read carefully, I fixed it while trying to keep your original words as much as possible. The synopsis is a bit long and it looks too much like an essay, I'm really not sure what the attention span of readers on this site is but it's best to space things out so they don't feel overwhelmed.I'm sure you know or have seen people who encounter a block of text and immediately skim it or don't read it. I'm not sure if the comment keeps formatting but take a look at most other synopsis on the site, They follow either of the two: 1) Short synopsis in which case it's okay to be a paragraph 2) Longer synopsis in which case everything is broken apart and spaced out so it seems much more friendly.Again, I tried to preserve your original words and intentions as best as possible but let me know if you want thoughts on changing something. I don't mind helping with this bit since it isn't too time consuming. If the comment doesn't have spacing, try not to keep the multiple sentence paragraphs like you're writing an essay. You want it to look friendly, not intimidating to people who are impatient and judge by first impression.I wanted to tell you to check out "Pro Writing Aid". Grammarly is for grammar and punctuation. ProWritingAid is basically it's big brother that covers everything else, as long as you're not horribly misspelling words this should really help you out. I used to use it in college and still use it on rare occasions. There should be a trial you can try out as well, it doesn't even hurt to get your readers opinions while trialing it and see how they feel if you want that route. My corrections below, you'll have to figure out the formatting Everyone loves the protagonist, and it’s difficult not to since they’re the centerpiece of the story, nothing seems to move if they don’t. You’re happy when they achieve great things and sad, maybe even disappointed when they lose or fail. How many people fall in love with a novel and wish they could live in that world? What happens if their wish comes true? There’s a reason people say “Be careful what you wish for, you might get it”. Is reincarnation as easy as it sounds? Sure, if you don’t mind being a nobody. Can someone who was just a normal person change the world they were reincarnated in? Not just to survive but thrive? Can they magically be accustomed to great pain and hardship or does it actually take willpower. This is the story of a boy who died only to reincarnate into a novel he had read, Dawn of Legends. Unlike other stories, he reincarnated into an extra who is just cannon fodder; someone who’s only purpose is to be used by the villains and protagonists to achieve their goals. Someone you could forget, whose life means nothing to the plot. At first, he was in despair, shocked and confused about what to do, racking his mind figuring out how to survive this harsh world. He was in a pinch whether to stay low-key or use his future knowledge to get stronger while befriending the protagonist. But will everything go according to plan? Will future events follow the same route in the novel with him influencing the world?Can he overcome all the crises that are bound to happen in the future? Does the world have other plans for him?Is his reincarnation just a coincidence or are there other forces at play? This is the tale of an ordinary boy, not a once in a millennium, martial artist or genius, billionaire who adapt from the very first day and establish their dominance; this is the tale of a boy who rises and climbs higher, step by step.Accompany Lucas on his journey, armed with future knowledge and a system as he traverses obstacles in his path, fighting against a world unlike what he knew before, and to find out the mystery behind his reincarnation.
The story is generic, and the characters are made from cardboard. The MC also seems slow. The "Golden finger" - the System, is almost superfluous, and its exact use is blurred. The grammar is okayish, even with the few errors here and there, but all characters' names are Western. It's strange and breaks immersion to have these kinds of names in an Eastern novel.It might be worth reading for some people, but there are heaps of better stories in the same genre.
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