Hello everyone, I'm TheReign and this is my novel, I got this idea from reading all kinds of MMORPG and apocalypse novels so don't be surprised if you see some similarities, I hope you enjoy it and constructive criticism is always welcome, but this is my first try at writing a novel so don't be too hard on me.
So far I quite like the book, theres some similarities with other works I read but since this is the authors first work I’ll overlook some of the small details and inconsistencies, but one question, why can’t I vote for this?
Stopped after 10 chapters, way too much misplaced comedy and incoherences, that pulled me out of the story.
There's only 1200 pioneers in the world which I assume has a 7 billion population which makes the chance of being one 1 out of 6 million and of course there's 4 of them being in the same school.
It's also not explained why monsters would appear before the terraformation, whether they'd appear for everyone,...
After getting these powers and the terraformation, you really get the feeling these guys are in a summer camp. Millions of people may die but all they think above is mocking each others and playing jokes.
There's also the convenient fact that you have 2 sons of mma champions, a champion archer and a kid from an assassin family all in the same school...
Too much for me to believe it'd be genuinely possible if such event were to be happening. It's a sloppy beginning.
writing quality takes a very steep, very hard dive about 60 chapters in. english writing is in past tense, not present.
the story is a bit pedantic, and lacks any sort of development.
the characters are stock tropes and stereotypes, and fifty chapters in they have yet to develop in any way, minor or major (no, levelling up and gaining skills do not count as character development).
the world has little to no background information given. you know almost nothing about it. the characters magically know about monsters, attributes, skills and abilities, but nothing is ever explained to the reader.
I have only just started reading this novel so I can’t comment on much, but I have noticed something I think the author should know. The writing in chapter 8 is pretty awkward. I could tell something was off in the previous chapters but I wasn’t able to pin point it until now. I finally realized the problem while reading the fight scenes of chapter 8. The tense frequently switches from past tense to present tense. One of the main rules in writing is to choose a tense and stick with it. Otherwise it makes the pacing of each scene feel all messed up and off. Going back and editing all of the chapters with conflicting tenses and converting them all into past tense would make the story flow a lot smoother and improve the general quality of the writing. I recommend past tense because it is the one more suited to this kind of story. If you would like specific examples of where I think these problems are and could be improved. I would be happy to help.
writing quality 4: to many misplaced comedy
story development 4: average
character design 5: pretty well thought and interesting characters
updating stability 4: average
world Background 5: give enough information to be interesting but not enough to predict what's gonna happen
Popular Reviews
There's only 1200 pioneers in the world which I assume has a 7 billion population which makes the chance of being one 1 out of 6 million and of course there's 4 of them being in the same school.
It's also not explained why monsters would appear before the terraformation, whether they'd appear for everyone,...
After getting these powers and the terraformation, you really get the feeling these guys are in a summer camp. Millions of people may die but all they think above is mocking each others and playing jokes.
There's also the convenient fact that you have 2 sons of mma champions, a champion archer and a kid from an assassin family all in the same school...
Too much for me to believe it'd be genuinely possible if such event were to be happening. It's a sloppy beginning.
the story is a bit pedantic, and lacks any sort of development.
the characters are stock tropes and stereotypes, and fifty chapters in they have yet to develop in any way, minor or major (no, levelling up and gaining skills do not count as character development).
the world has little to no background information given. you know almost nothing about it. the characters magically know about monsters, attributes, skills and abilities, but nothing is ever explained to the reader.
story development 4: average
character design 5: pretty well thought and interesting characters
updating stability 4: average
world Background 5: give enough information to be interesting but not enough to predict what's gonna happen