The premise itself is good, and the characters in MC's new world are interesting, especial So Won. If it's going to become *cough cough* BL *cough cough cough* I'd eagerly be following along. It's fine if it's not, though, I could just silently ship the characters from the safety of my couch ^0^I read past chapter 3, and though there were still some tricky parts, the writing becomes much better from there. I strongly recommend for any author to use Grammarly before publishing (and no, I'm not getting paid to endorse it this damn much). I have it installed in Chrome, it's my last line of defense before releasing a chapter. Here, there were still minor errors in the first two chapters that I didn't address because I'm pretty sure the free version of Grammarly would catch them just fine. That said, author, please take this as a gesture of goodwill because I saw in the forums how worried you were--Chapter 1:lion and his songs that--> and WITH his songs thatthe 75,000 seats in the stadium were full--> were FILLED (to capacity).Kim Chun Ha appeared on stage--> make it "onstage" -- no spacea 19-year-old boy with black hair and green eyes of 179cm entered -- like this, it sounds like it's his eyes that's 179cm, so...--> a 19-year-old boy OF 179cm, with black...they needed to take a sleep--> EITHER needed to sleep OR needed to take a napJae Hyun decided to tell HER--> tell HIM In fact, I have already informed...--> you forgot to add the opening quotation mark "In fact...Do you even know dance? And just saying but when you agreed to give me your voice--> Do you even know how to dance (not sure if this is what you meant, but "know dance" doesn't sound right)--> make the next statement stronger by simply starting with "When you agreed to give..."--> delete "and just saying"He ignored what he had just told him before look at him and talk.--> (Jae Hyun) ignored Chun Ha's words (I'd suggest naming at least one of the characters in a sentence if they have the same gender; it's to avoid confusion about who's doing what)--> and simply looked at him before speaking.Kim Chun Ha's anger lashed his mind and blew up.--> I don't understand what you mean by "lashed his mind." Maybe it's best if you just say (his) anger blew up.I make you regret being born--> I'LL make you...a shot was heard--> a shot sounded OR rang out (to avoid the passive "was heard")Once he would be cured--> Once HE'S curedJae Hyun had a pinch in his heart--> Jae Hyun's heart constrictedChapter 2:He tried to sit down,--> sit UPhis body gave up to him--> up ON himhis agency—if you say so—saved--> did you mean "if you could call them that"?Fake to sleep? Hid?--> Fake sleep--> HideThink to something--> Think OF somethingand the panic gradually spread to him--> and his panic gradually spread (could use a different word here imo).He was going to tell them their home truths!--> "home truths" seems to be an idiomatic expression in French? Not sure, but it doesn't translate well, I would suggest a more common phrase like "tell them what's what"Sorry I didn't force you.--> Sorry, I shouldn't have forced you/pushed you too hard"Am I still dreaming?
Ah yes. The obligatory author's shameless self-review with a perfect 5.0 score. How original! Seriously, though. This novel's pretty awesome. It's got mutants, cyborgs, cyborgs fighting cyborgs, mutants fighting mutants, cyborgs fighting mutants, cyborgs fighting mutants fighting bad cyborgs fighting bad mutants, in bullet time, with plenty of mayhem and flying limbs and explosions. So yeah, it's my best work to date. Objectively speaking. True story, that. (It's my first novel, so of course, it's da best) Anyways, anyone who reads to this line please spare 30 seconds and leave me some feedback (positive or negative, but preferably positive). Thank you!
Dear Author,Will our MC, Hierd, ever summon a "person," or has he not thought of that yet? But either way, this is a really good story, and I look forward to more of its development. Thank you for creating this story.
The main character is the most Stupid Person ever. literally only survives his own stupidity because of plot armor. Never have i ever read a novel with a Mc as stupid as this one. Really trying to keep reading it but he keeps getting dumber and dumber and not thinking about any consequences; even when a ridiculously powerful wizard says a place is extremely dangerous to them let alone the mc. He just walks in the place thinking ‘oh this will help me’ like no youre going to die zero questions asked you dumb f***. Honestly if you want to read a novel that makes you want to end the mc with your own hands over and over and over again give it a go but id really just recommend you to pass this novel. there are some parts that are enjoyable but most of what ive read after the first arc or two is just annoying stupid mc surviving bc of plot armor. He is degressing in almost every way and pretty much relies on the chip for everything. No longer enjoyable but ill keep reading and see if it gets better. Hopefully the author had a change of heart and it becomes a good story again.
I may post even lesser than I do now as a very important exam, ahem, exAms are coming up and I need to focus on my studies, So sorry please forgive this poor author!!!
I turned around to see a beautiful woman enter the office, shutting the door behind her. She had a voluptuous body and a foxy look at that. She wore a rather formal attire — a dress shirt and pencil skirt — and her fiery scarlet hair was tied up in a high bun. Her eyes were a bright blue.
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