The Deathbearer Chronicle

Amazing. Good job

there's just way too much infodump,there's whole chapters of him just thinking out his thoughts.

If you guys are looking for the netori, harem and r18 stuff might have to wait till this reach 100 chaps. mc character growth is just too strange for someone that was essentially an otaku. Too much self identity crisis and mc is still stuck in thinking in the norm when he is pretty much in a ntr game. The moral thing is just getting annoying at this point, contradicting thoughts that just annoys me or most readers.This is slow paced but don't central this around just the mc since it got boring reading it. Like adding about world building and how that world works from his research in his PC would probably help the mc make solid decisions.Cause from all the chapters so far, he gets pissed most of the time like as if a stick got stuck in his ass when given some info from his "friends". The big events so far that should have boost his character growth a lot, always have a reason to revert him back to normalcy thinking. It was already annoying at the beginning but now it's 45 chapters and little changed other than his physical attributes.Especially the revenge part where he thought this plan and how he was really gonna ruin this girl and even brags about how he will do it right from those shitty "revenge" stories he read in his previous world. Instead we get something that missed that claim..... it would be better if the author never added those sentences/reference cause it just made the mc even more unbearable.it may make sense realistic wise but God dam is it an annoying/bad story telling. Nothing is really note worthy that would hook the reader because of the "slow pace" and the 2 chapters or so of r18 text are probably what 90% of the reader cared about.The slow pace is just hard to pull off and may need to really amp his character. Cause at this point, you can just skip/skim chapters and probably won't miss anything important.

I had a whole proper review written out for this but decided to just backspace all of it away. I'm going to say what I want here, not as a review, but as advice.Firstly, where's the synopsis? The only reason I clicked on this was that the title pretty much said it all, but without a decent synopsis, lots of people are just going to skim past it.Your writing style is confusing and could use some work. The best advice I can give is for you to read some of the well-known stories on this platform and take note of how they do certain things, such as how exactly the character speak and what the follow-up text is for it, the rough estimate length of a paragraph, the background of characters, and so forth.The formatting could use some work. The "paragraphs" are far too long.Additional information should go to the additional information section, not in the middle of a chapter. That's the biggest problem of this story so far. Work a bit more on the characters as well. Like, make a character sheet of every character and give them like 20 characteristics, traits, abilities, personality types, etc that make them unique. Don't introduce most of these traits into the story directly, but rather take a roundabout approach. An example of a fairly well-structured paragraph with decent vocabulary that helps portray some of the characteristics of Zach:'Despite Zach's prior fear when he learned about the foundation kidnapping him, a blooming sense of excitement welled up from his' depths after realizing where exactly he was; Inside of the very SCP Foundation that he respected! The idea of being able to use his omniscient-like knowledge to explore The Foundation would have been a rather thrilling one if only the guards weren't holding him at gunpoint; His anxiety well on its way back to cloud his judgment once again.' Other than those main pointers, there are a few things here and there that could use working on, but they aren't detrimental to the story. Just focus on getting a better writing style and fixing the formatting first.~Some guy who cried after reading SCP-1762.

it's a great read, I have re-read it through a couple of times I hope there is more to come

Heh, Heh, Heh, Heh, Heh, Heh, Heh, Heh************************************************************************************************************************

One of the greatest parts of stories about beast taming is the unique and amazing beasts as well as the interactions and growth with them. This story has none of that.

Good Luck!                                                                                                                               😁