Re: Dragon ball [Cultivation]

this doesnt deserve to have the first like 600 chapters premium when they havent been for years................................this doesnt deserve to have the first like 600 chapters premium when they havent been for years................................this doesnt deserve to have the first like 600 chapters premium when they havent been for years................................this doesnt deserve to have the first like 600 chapters premium when they havent been for years................................

The title... it just speaks to me.                                                                                                         

Story's really good ,dropped it because of Ranzy character ...might pick up later

There were minor punctuation and spelling errors here and there.Plotwise, the story is intriguing and fascinating. I love how you portrayed the MC as a character who prioritises his family's safety above himself.I hope he manages to survive and somehow protect those he holds dear in those trying time.*For punctuations, if you have already used "...?!" then there isn't much need to put a comma behind the sentence unless its a phrase or dialog.There were some errors as well where you used "your" instead of "you're". You're basically means you are... or something while your is used to symbolise something belongs to you.Same goes with the word "his" and "he's" that you wanted to use.This are just pointers for you, because I really enjoyed the story.

I hope the english translation is good to easily understand the story. There are grammatical errors and the way to correct the grammar is that we have to rewrite the sentence or the while paragraph.

Well, he didn't care. Some people survived in this world by learning not to poke their heads in where they shouldn't.

I was frozen in place and had no clue what to do, but then in the blink of an eye i had a sharp pain on my side. He had kicked me . I screamed, so loud that people started pouring out of the theater rooms. Soon enough I saw his face. Andrius was there. He had ran over and punched him in the face. From what I saw the man was on the floor knocked out with blood coming from his lip.

Magnler went back to his bed and went through his uniform. He took his scavenged pistol and belted it.