Had to say that I am thoroughly amazed by the quality of this book. My only complaint is that I had to stop my immersion halfway through chapter 82 because that's all there was for me to read.Brilliantly written and completely my cuppa of tea. Would really love to see more chapters and a crazier system the further the story goes.Thank you for writing another brilliant story, Dawn.
goodlion here r some tips if u like to have some : -->Make jake buy Golden State Warriors team - (from wikipedia) On July 15, 2010, Lacob and the group of investors he headed agreed to buy the Golden State Warriors of the NBA from Chris Cohan for $450 million, requiring him to sell his minority interest in the Celtics.[11] The Lacob - Peter Guber group won out over a dozen other bidders for the Warriors, including Oracle chief executive officer Larry Ellison, 24-Hour Fitness founder Mark Mastrov and Texas billionaire financier David Bonderman.[12] He had been a Warriors' season-ticket-holder for about a decade.[5]--> Make jake free agent after contract with lakers ends to let him have more freedom and make 1-yr or 2-yr deals.. first of all, let jake help spurs for stealing their 2 championships with lakers as a free agent--> let jake buy marvel shares before iron-man1 shooting
100% the best novel except for Outside of Time in the last 5 months. We don’t have to lose braincells from ”cultivation emulator” and ”god level drug dealer system.”
This is probably in the top 3 most enjoyable harem novels I’ve read. The main selling point being the charcters actually feel real. Each FMC has personaility, motivation, goals and feelings which creates realistic feeling interactions, all of which are enjoyable. The action is good, the romance is great, the story overall is fantastic. Stop reading other harem trash where girls have 2 brain cells and tap into this marvelous story.
It was good to see that Yeman was able to adapt to the system right away, but I guess it felt like he accepted the matter too easily? Also, Yeman's character is not established, like he has no prominent traits except for his occasional raging. Also, his history with Marie was quite abruptly narrated. This history has a bearing in the story, so I was hoping that it could be described a tad more confusing. I guess the first three chapters will be confusing if the reader doesn't know that the MC was transmigrated. I appreciate the detailed action scenes which compensates for the short chapters. I love Mina, by the way. She's feisty and such a badass! The pacing of the story is just right, but I think that the MC's improvements as a player was too slow in the beginning. Then suddenly, his growth became exponential. It's kind of following the usual progression of a transmigration light novel. :( He doesn't use his resources wisely and keeps on being saved by his teammates. [I'm really sorry for saying these mean things. I just want you to improve as an author, along with me too! ]There are a myriad of grammatical mistakes. (Sorry if I'm going technical) However, note that grammatical mistakes are easy to correct. We all make this mistake, so don't worry about it. Incorrect verb tenses, misuse/absence of punctuation marks are the majority of these. I'll be cheering you on! You clearly have a good world background. I hope that these criticisms will motivate you to do better. Remember that nobody is perfect, as all things should be. We should always find a way to improve! Please continue writing this art of yours!
i enjoyed this until the cliché OP video game system appeared. does no one know how to write a book with out using a video game system in it. use natural real cultivation. book was interesting but ill pass once I saw the AI level type system with a so called voice telling you level 1. this is a drop from me. if you like the video game system style then give it a read if you despise it like me then dont even bother. this is a dropped for me
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