1) I absolutely love your story and you have my addiction burning.2) The only real constructive feedback that I have for you is that when you realise you are using some words too many times (ex. Recomposing or ingress) that you use the thesaurus to give you more options to expand your vocabulary. 3) Last thing, try to utilize words that aren't a mouthful for people to read. Using a softer approach for the sentence "his ingress to the royal capital was a grand spectical to witness." could be changed to "his entrence to the royal capital was a grand sight to see." Those are just some general statements I made up, but the second sentence is far easier for people to read vice the former.4) Again I love your story and your use of some interesting vocabulary and these are just some suggestions that could help amplify your writing. THANK YOU AND I HOPE YOU GIVE THIS A READ OVER :D
I'm actually enjoying this very much. For this type of novel, its done well enough. And I recommend people to read it! Positives:This novel takes care of its numbers well such as troops, resources, system stats. Its a kingdom building story with a game like system. Although its a game type system, its actually real life. The power ups and gradual improvements aren't bad. The game like events for the billions of players are pretty entertaining. MC's cheat is not that strong, in fact his strong point is the location of his territory which synergies's with his talent alone! There are no harems so far (Ch 329), in fact no relationships of any kind at all so far. But this is good since its just been 3 months in the world so he still needs to keep building instead of being distracted by unhelpful love drama lol. His character is to be reasonable, rational in risks vs rewards, attempts to be self sufficient in the desert, kind and fair to his people as normal earthling, not a perfect human since he forgets some things sometimes or needs other citizens to fulfill tasks he can't.Negatives: The mentality of players is weird, since they don't treat natives like living beings or even care properly about their lives. Almost crazy tbh.For MC's progress there are some well reasoned situations, however there are also a bit of blatant plot device based situations which might irk some people lol. Too much luck of course makes it unbelievable and can turn people off, but its an okay amount and not too intense imo. Another thing is that there are too much high level maps/dungeons around his territory that he can't touch yet, essentially made as a set up for the future. But this seems to be constantly happening. In recent (300th ish chapters) MC's growth has been slowed down, no idea why author still kept him at his level. He still hasn't found a reliable way to keep his agricultural area safe, not idea why author doesn't just build a wall and arrow/watch towers? There are of course times like that when common sense is missing or over used words like 'supremely' lol. All in all its defo worth reading. The small nit picks are easily ignorable when you look at the whole picture. You will enjoy the other aspects pretty well. Currently i've read till latest 329 ch and its great. Its not perfect if thats what you think, but better than most when it comes to kingdom building game like novels. I would rate it 4.4/5.
Hmmm, an interesting concept, kinda overused but acceptable.Death, why do we die? what happens? how does one feel?if you could explain this in the future I would love it...the style is the first person, so be careful with too many info dumps, or jamming lines into a high para.The tenses were kinda misplaced sometimes, but they are somewhat acceptable.Well, that's all I can say.Have a good day, and give it a try...
Friendly review here XDBut on a serious note, while it seems to be a typical time travel + wish-fulfillment story of somebody who wants to be a top star, writing is good and will not make you bored. Enjoy the ride coz it will be fun, amusing, and addictive.
The story is very interesting since it involves a lot of actions and martial art The story is very interesting since it involves a lot of actions and martial artThe story is very interesting since it involves a lot of actions and martial art The story is very interesting since it involves a lot of actions and martial artThe story is very interesting since it involves a lot of actions and martial art The story is very interesting since it involves a lot of actions and martial artThe story is very interesting since it involves a lot of actions and martial art The story is very interesting since it involves a lot of actions and martial artThe story is very interesting since it involves a lot of actions and martial art The story is very interesting since it involves a lot of actions and martial artThe story is very interesting since it involves a lot of actions and martial art The story is very interesting since it involves a lot of actions and martial artThe story is very interesting since it involves a lot of actions and martial art The story is very interesting since it involves a lot of actions and martial art
If you had already read Castle of the Black Iron (COBI) and like it you can appreciate this novel more the MC cheat is quite the same as in COBI the MC may not be likeable at first but as the story progress he becomes mature and smart
I’m here again, hoping that we can have a chance to work together and we are willing to pay you for distributing your work.The conditions should be generous. If you are interested, please contact me via this email:adaren06*@*gmail.com(delete *）, then I should take this opportunity to discuss it with you in details.
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